“From an early age, boys are discouraged from expressing vulnerability,” says Humboldt University social psychologist Iris Wahring, lead author of the new Behavioral and Brain Sciences paper. And this social norm “continues into adulthood.” This makes men less likely to seek emotional support from friends and family compared with women. As a result, men rely more heavily on their romantic partners to fulfill these needs. Women, on the other hand, seek emotional support from a wider social network and tend to be less reliant on romantic partners.

So beyond the common trope of being told to ‘man up’ and not express sadness or other ‘negative emotions’, another huge hurdle for men establishing emotional connections is the barriers to friendships with women thrown up by society. Assumptions that any kind of friendship between a man and a woman must have romantic undertones has been an annoyance at every job I have had. Group settings tend to be fine, but one on one communication is frowned on.

I know a similar barrier exists for women, but when you are presssured into limiting some contact to part of the population that is also emotionally repressed…

Note: I do ignore the pressure as much as possible, but the pressure is absolutely there and I have chosen to limit some contact to avoid having to deal with the gossip (by men and women).