I have anger issues, which I can’t control. I am considered conventionally attractive (though I don’t see it) and many people think I’m cool and want to be around me.
Like I said, though, I have anger issues where I will act quite aggressively towards people. One time, someone I knew said hi to me, so I screamed “I HEARD YOU”. I also tend to type very dryly and with periods when I’m upset (which is admittedly ~90% of the time but I can’t control that).
My friend doesn’t talk to me as much and I really don’t get why because even when I’m “aggressive”, it’s tough love and I’m trying to help them. If I didn’t love her, I wouldn’t be like that.
I’m even like this with guys I’ve dated and I love them not as brothers.
Women also piss me off more than men do, so I hang out more with them because I feel like they get me and aren’t as bitchy. (Part of the reason why I’m bi curious but never found a woman I’d date, excluding one I almost went out with).
While I do tend to praise men and ignore women, as some people say, it’s tough love since I think women should be the best versions of themselves :) [I believe this is why society is so hard on women as a whole]
But yeah, TLDR; My mood problems impact the people I care about, and I’m wondering if it’s a turn off since some people don’t want to be around me rather than loving me for me.
I have a reason for my actions, people just choose to ignore those reasons and misinterpret me.
I know this will sound cynical…
…but a whole, whole lot of younger, brainrotted tiktok addicts with narcissistic personalities and negative attention spans will describe themselves as pan or bi when they aren’t at all, because they can use it as an idpol thing, an extra reason to legitimate their anger directed at anyone critical of them, a vapid empty signifier that has no real meaning beyond ‘people i think are funny or hot or popular say they are bi/pan/omni, so I am too!’
But I find women pretty…? Sure, I can’t name any female crushes, but that doesn’t make me less bi/pan. Sexuality is a spectrum.
Yes, I LOVE men, and women don’t give me the spark, but I love the idea of finally being able to say “I love my girlfriend!”. Plus, a lot of women are very soft and playful, and as a woman, I think I could date and understand most women.
I just haven’t found the right woman because my type is athletic and extroverted. Shy people are annoying, TBH. And they HAVE to like men. Part of dating women means I have to relate to them, and I can’t relate to a lesbian woman.
People find sunsets pretty. That doesn’t mean they’re heliosexual. Finding a thing aesthetically pleasing is distinct from being sexually or romantically attracted.
I can see myself with men, not with women though. They are nice to flirt with and have common interests with (especially MENNNN, this is why I don’t have many lesbian friends) and they have to be extroverted, which is why I don’t like neurodivergent people as friends. they’re cool, but if they have autism, they’re mostly kinda weird (No offense, ADHD people just seem more social).
I don’t know, because I would probably date a woman if I met the right one, but I can’t name a time a woman has ever interested me.