As in your never understood by anyone, you don’t fit in anywhere, nobody cares about you, you have no one in your life, no friends, no connections, nothing, all the common advice doesn’t work for you (i.e. distract yourself, take a walk, go to therapy, etc.), you have terrible luck, you can barely find a job, your broken inside, your mind is constantly rotting, you can’t do anything properly, your stuck in a shitty society and or an abusive household, etc. how do you survive? How do you properly bottle everything up without bursting or going insane in a situation like that?
it’s a shitty time to be alive for many of us. some have it much worse than others, and there’s truly no rational explanation why things are this way. I’m sorry for your pain and what you’re going through. you don’t deserve it. no one does. glib life advice from strangers on the internet should not be given lightly or taken too seriously… but, since you asked directly, here goes.
find someone who will listen and commiserate, preferably irl. who and where will vary wildly dependending on your circumstances but consider that many people nowadays are longing for someone to connect with (not romantically, just someone who can listen without judgement). if you learn to reciprocate that vibe, you’ll find someone in no time.
exercise, move your body around for at least 30 minutes continuously, every damn day. doesn’t matter what, just MOVE. walk around your neighborhood, back and forth to the store, or even around the campus/work parking lot at lunch. bonus points if you can convince someone else to walk with you.
disable all notifications on your phone, except critical contacts like close family or friends, (or work if you have serious responsibilities - gotta pay those bills).you need to reclaim your time as your own. agency is a big part of self dignity, and having a machine dictate your time is dehumanizing.
hang out around other people in a public space, preferably where nature can be enjoyed or where laughter can be heard. just watch and listen to the world. a park bench, a library, a dive bar (not a sports bar with TVs or tourists, but regulars). participating in the rhythm of social and natural spaces can be a kind of mindfulness and gets the juices flowing so to speak.
more ideas come to mind but this might be a start. good luck stranger. ps, check out “tragic optimism”. has helped me a lot over the years. take care.
Can I ask you from your own experiences if or where you found others who’re willing to bond with you exactly? From my personal experience I’ve had 0 luck with that, doesn’t matter what I do or change or try with or look in, irl especially, shitty society, shitty people, strict social norms, no social spaces, etc.
actual bonding comes later, first you have to spend a bunch of time just being in the presence of other people. make acquaintances using a common activity first is a good approach.
that you say “willing to” already kinda sounds like you don’t give others much opportunity to get to know you and vice versa. as another commenter said - you may be stuck in a self limiting loop.
make opportunities for connection first - find a litter clean up volunteer event, or a community garden where they need help, or an after school club, or a friendly working class bar (this was my place of choice for years until I found better alternatives)… the specific place or context doesn’t matter. find an activity or thing you enjoy (or could see yourself enjoying) and where other people can see/be around you… and eventually, completely unplanned you will invariably get to know people and then, maybe… bond with them. bonding isn’t a prerequisite to talking and sharing information about yourself or your struggles though. it can be as simple as pulling up a bar stool and raising a glass to someone you just met. or the non alcoholic equivalent if you don’t drink, I guess.
Your assuming and interpreting a lot there, guess I should’ve worded things differently, my bad. Also you don’t know me, you don’t know what I’ve been through, what I’m still going through, you have no idea how unlucky I’ve been with everything, how many times I’ve tried and have only been hurt over and over again as a result. Let me make this clear: I did not fucking ask to be stuck in this “self limiting loop” and have been bashing my head against a wall for years desperately trying to get out but can’t, no need to rub salt in my wounds, I’m just asking for your own experiences and perspectives here, nothing more, nothing less, might help, might not, I don’t know.
That aside: thanks for sharing.
I’ve found that small local gyms or martial art schools to be the most welcoming environments if you’re interested in those things and willing to put time into the practice. The people don’t really care about the preexisting societal structure as the school dictates it’s own and everyone is there for the same reason. There are still some shitty groups at predatory institutions so have to watch out for those.