To start: no, there are no “trusted male figures” in our lives. My brothers & father are all conservative, and I DO NOT trust them to properly explain things without shame and/or religious context.
My son knows the basics of reproduction, but I’ve never really explained what’s “normal” things for a teenage boy to go through… mainly because I don’t know!
I’ve definitely put it off, so he’s almost 14 and is much more physically mature than most of his peers (he’s got hair in places, shaves his face regularly, etc.)… but I’m embarrassed to admit that I know next to nothing about anything else…
Could y’all help me out? What did you go through that he should know about? What should I know about?
Many thanks to anyone who can help. Please don’t be unkind. Much appreciated.
EDIT: Thank you so much for all the advice so far!! Please keep it up!!
My son & I have very open communication & a very good relationship.
Have you seen young men without good role models in their life? I have, they break things and hurt people. There are exceptions to every rule obviously, but especially in the growing toxic male culture that we have right now young men are in precarious positions. I’m a huge fucking nerd, I built my own computer in high school and was captain of the quiz bowl team. It’s still important to find positive and healthy outlets for the energy young men have. This poster specifically pointed out that they do have toxic male influences in their life already. Keeping active is never bad advice and while I may have been over emphasizing some things, it’s important to address behavior now before he starts driving, working, going out on his own, etcetera etcetera
She actually doesn’t say he has toxic male role models in his life, he has conservatives in his life, who she admits are not good sex-advice-givers or puberty-talk-havers. She doesn’t say they are Nazi’s or wifebeaters or something. The assumptions I’d make from this is he has conservative trad-marriage role models, which I had too. These people teach you a distorted view of sex, but also a lot of the best male role models in my life live as conservatives.
Anyway, no I don’t really think that male role models are as important as we like to think. This is kinda a “what is wrong with our youth” take on modernity. A good female role model to a man can be almost more influential. Her being a good mom is going to influence his views on women a lot more than any dudebro with no relation to him, especially if she calls him on misogyny he may pick up.
A man who loves women has healthy female role models. That’s more important than anything in developing their views on women. And then more importantly than anything, a man who will succeed in life has an internal drive to be better, learn more, not be led, etc, and that doesn’t come from other people.