Seriously. I’m asocial and depressed. Also, I like spending time with people and how they’re there for me when I need it, but I also have several mental illnesses and no empathy.
I’m not obligated to give you something back when you buy something for me. I want it, and you’re nice enough to get it for me. Why do I have to give you something back? I don’t know what you want. I can guess but I can’t really tune into other people that well.
And when people ask how I am, I just say “Fine”. Why do I have to ask how they are? They never told me to ask how they are, they asked how I was. Also, what’s so wrong with “Nothing/Nun” when they ask what I did? Genuinely, I didn’t do much, there’s nothing to talk about.
It also feels easier to talk to men because they don’t seem to compete with me or expect much from me, how can I fix that so I can talk to my own gender?
The “how are you” exchange is really just a conversation starter, a way for either one of you to talk about something that is on your mind. If you don’t reciprocate that, most people will just assume you don’t want to talk to them.
In general, if you just respond and don’t make any effort to ask questions or keep the conversation going, people will assume you don’t want to talk to them. You aren’t obligated to respond, but they are also not obligated to continue talking to someone who is clearly uninterested in talking to the .
So I guess the question is: Why do you want to talk to people if you aren’t interested in them at all?
If you’re looking for support and friendship, that is a 2-way street that requires you to support and care about them as well. Otherwise the other person can feel like you are just using them.
If you just feel that this is something you need to do to not feel like a failure, that’s different. It’s not a failure to struggle with something, even if it seems everyone else just “gets it”. It’s just human. You might be happier with more socializing, but you are fine and perfectly acceptable without it.
All that said, depression is also a liar. It will tell you that people don’t like you or at least don’t care. It will cherry-pick bad memories to drive a wedge between you and others to feed itself.
I hope at least some of this helps