The solution is in the definition. It’s telling someone with low confidence that they’re thinking to much about what others think, and therein lies the problem: it’s a negative feedback loop.

Breaking free of problems like this requires you to reprogram yourself. Maya Angelou says to do the best you can, but when you know better, do better. It’s not magic or some book you can buy, it’s just you and your mind. You decide what is real.