Nah, my life is massively better in every way and seems to have no signs of stopping. I was a broke student with an uncertain future, reliant on an increasingly hostile family back home just for a chance at a future, but I pretty much just expected to die in the next 6 months ever since I turned 18.

Now thanks to COVID I was able to graduate, get a masters, get a visa sponsored job, WFH, be promoted, transition fully, including get SRS through public healthcare which seemed like a pipedream to me before, got my ADHD medicated, saved enough money to move to a better city renting in a nice 1 bed flat all to myself, am food secure and can even afford some nice things once in a while, I got a gf I love and am surrounded by friends. I spend my free time pursuing my many hobbies and passions such as making music, reading history, politics and philosophical works and practicing pentesting.

There is no denying that for all intents and purposes we live in hell, every ideal I’ve ever had for the world, every value philosophical and political has been trumpled, moved away from or reduced to absurdity by the elite capitalists and their government and media lapdogs and I have no real faith in much of anything anymore.

I will never own a home, and I have no idea how or if I’ll be able to retire in any way, and I have no real safety net, I’m one bad day away from homelessness and starvation and death and there’s no real way to fix that, and for every day I’m okay, I’m forced to watch others suffer the fate I so narrowly avoided through much luck and a sprinkle of resilience.

And yeah I’m sometimes nostalgic at times for some eras of memes and media, but I certainly would be an ignorant fool to in any way claim my life is worse now than ever before.

I’m living very literally what I used to not even let myself dream of before, because I thought it’d be too cruel to inevitably be let down by reality.