Hey.

I don’t know where to go from here and I don’t even know where to go.

I have a wife, she is amazing. We both made a horrible decision two years ago. Atleast I think it was a horrible decision, she personally has no problem and is totally fine.

We bought a cheap property next to a church. We lived around the corner in an older apartment that had no insulation and it was “okay”. So I thought to myself sure, new house has new insulation and should be fine.

Wrong. Now I am in debt, live in a garbage new house with church bells annoying me every single friggin day I am at a point the only thing that could save me in this situation is a huge war and someone bombing my house as excuse to move away.

I can’t leave this crap with 500k debt. No one is going to buy this shit.hole either. I am so unhappy and can’t believe I agreed to buying this cra.p property.

I am thankful for every minute I can stay at work to avoid the bells, I sometimes take extra shifts. I also sometimes don’t come up but drive to our local park and stay there til late afternoon.

I only come home to sleep. And even at night the church bells go on and on, I use facemask that has music playing so I am atleast able to sleep a few hours at night.

If I could undo one thing in my life is not buy this property.

I hate my life now.

I wish I could just grab my wife and move to somewhere else but we are doomed to stay here til we die. I earn enough money and my wife and I got in a arguement recently. I told her it would be possible to rent a second home so I can stay a week there and a week here and so on. She didn’t agree with this idea, and yeah it’s not the best idea. But I would only have to stay in this house two weeks every month with a second rental home. It only has to have a bedroom. I can shower at this place.

I googled all kind of weird stuff. Like accident fires, accident flooding damage etc. but this is so risky I can’t even do it. The best thing that could happen at this point is a war, some nation bombing this house or a natural desaster wiping it away. And with that being said it’s so sad because many people don’t have homes and would be thankful. But understand, these church bells are so loud and annoying. I talked with the church priest and he can’t do anything for us.

Just look at the wildfires in california. So many people lost everything and they’d be grateful for this cra.p I have to live in. I should be thankful but I can’t be cause those bells are getting on my nervs I can’t think clearly anymore. I think the debt also has a lot to do with how I think about this house. I have no other option than to live here now and it gives me an anxiety I can’t explain.

I feel so bad for writing this and whats going through my head. I know the struggle of people not having a house. Not having a job. Not having a partner they love etc. But this house is killing me. I was so happy two years ago when I didn’t own a house - atleast not this house. I always wanted a house. But not here. Not in this town… not with these people. I am sad. I failed to communicate my thoughts when we bought the property and always thought positive. “I will get use to the bells.” “I won’t hear them inside with this good insulation”, etc… but no. It sucks.

Every minute not here in this house is a good minute. I use to be addicted to World of Warcraft and quit. Now I bought a headset with good insulation and started playing again. I think I lost my life to this game again because this game lets me escape the bells, the noise. I can’t use our garden cause of the bells. I wonder how long my wife will watch…