I tried writing a post explaining why, but it’s just too much, and too many personal details and having to explain things going years back, it’s just to much.
Very very long story short I’m disabled, about to get evicted, and can’t find a suitable place to live and not mentally strong enough to live somewhere unsuitable again becuse it almost killed me the last times I had to. But ike I say, there is a lot more to it that makes it too big a mess to explain.
And I only have a couple of people supporting me and they’re not available and I’m spiralling in to the dark places where this is all heading, and I figured I’d shout in to the void and see if anyone answers back.
I’m sorry for dropping off for a bit, there were no updates and I was slowly losing it, and trying my best to focus on other things.
today though I’ve had a small positive update which is a viewing for a house that would really suit me and is near my supportive friends but is also a long and difficult journey away (8 hours each way by train and cab for a person who spends 22 hours a day in bed is rough) but if I get it it would really make a big difference.
I am not the only candidate though, so I don’t want to get my hopes too high.
Hopefully by mid next week I will know how it went.
Would be awesome if this works out for you. I just wanted to chime in beings it got a little quiet and wanted to know if you’re alright.
You’re in my thoughts daily. Just really hoping to learn that things worked out for you!
Take care my friend and keep in touch please!
I appreciate the kind thoughts, sadly they weren’t enough to give me the luck I need and after 36 hours of almost straight up traveling there and back (including missing a train and being stranded for the night) I found out as I was making my way back that I didn’t get the house. I’m completely shattered and out a whole load of money and it was all for nothing.
I’m still waiting to hear back on a couple more places and will keep trying, but I’m running out of time fast and the despair and panic are really starting to set in. I’m really not sure how this is all going to turn out.
Wow, I’m really sad to know that. 36hrs is a very long time and getting stranded for the night is even worse!
I don’t know what to say 😕. I feel really sad right now and I don’t know what I’d do if I were in your situation other than give up if and when all else failed. I’d just become a permanent fixture somewhere and I’d try to unlearn how to stop talking, stop hearing, stop seeing… I’d just want to turn everything off.
I’m so so sorry!
I’ll be honest, I feel like doing exactly what you’ve described, I’ve called about a few more places and got nothing, it’s looking really bleak and I don’t know how long I can keep pushing on auto pilot like I have been before it all finally catch up on me and crashes me to the ground.
I really don’t know what to do anymore.