I also am childfree, am getting a vasectomy in the next few months, and am also a borderline anti-natalist. I still think that bringing a person into the world is an inherently selfish act.

But after deep thought and growing over the past several years, I’ve come to realize some things and re-orient some of my beliefs and attitudes.

For one, I don’t think that selfishness is inherently a bad thing. Selfishness is alot like sugar and potassium. You need a certain amount of it to function and fulfill your needs, but when it becomes too much and starts hurting you, others and the ecological and social environment is when it becomes a problem. Though other people constantly describe me as not being selfish at all and being almost saint-like, so take that for what you will.

I’m also developing a belief that is influenced by Taoism/Daoism, and also inspired by the video game series Destiny.

Almost everything in reality has Light and Darkness in it. But Light isn’t inherently good, and Dark isn’t inherently evil. This isn’t to say that a perfect middle-ground exists or that the right answer is always perfectly in the middle, that is neoliberal centrist horseshit.

Most people would agree that murder is wrong. But killing someone in self-defense, protecting yourself or someone else, or preventing tragedy and suffering to save or improve the lives of thousands of people by killing an individual is perfectly reasonable and results in a “net good” in society.

Likewise, while many religions think of themselves as “purifying” humanity, they are merely committing unspeakable atrocities and enforcing oppression in the name of “goodness”, such as Christian colonial missionaries or Buddhist soldiers that fought alongside the pedophile monks that China liberated Tibet from.

As back to my original point, having children is inherently selfish, since it places multiple sociological and psychological burdens on someone and robs them of their “peace of nonexistence” and forces almost guaranteed mortality on someone at some point in the future, you grant a sperm cell decades, (hopefully in the future, centuries) of life that they wouldn’t experience otherwise out of the billions of other sperm cells.

Life is shitty, but after capitalism is overthrown, life will become much less shittier. Sometimes I wish my mother aborted me like she almost did, and other times I’m truly thankful to be alive, despite having BPD, autistic spectrum disorder and OCD.

If I was never born, of course I wouldn’t consciously “know” it or have a frame of reference, but there would be so many beautiful colors and shades and hues I’d never see, wonderful smells, tasty food, orgasms, comfort, security, or entertainment I’ve ever feel, or knowledge I’d never know. Life can be what you make of it.

Even though I say that I “hate” kids sometimes, I don’t truly hate them or wish ill on them. Kids can be spoiled brats, but they are still just little humans who are thrust into a shitty world against their consent without the proper know-how of basically anything, so of course they are annoying and gross and act-out, but its rarely anything that you can or should blame on them.

My heart also tears and becomes enraged at stories of child abuse and exploitation and suffering and murder. Nobody deserves any of that, especially children. They have decades they deserve to live out, not suffer for. Life is a beautiful thing, especially when we share it with other people stuck in our same mortal situation.

I hope I’ve given you food for thought at least.