NGL “Borag Meat Game” sounds fun

  • @mindbleach
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    331 year ago

    Dragons have neverending arguments about idle games which seem painfully generic and interchangeable to anything on two legs. Swarm Simulator Simulator, Multiversal Paperclips, Urban Dead, that sort of thing. In reality the games are just an occasional distraction, and what they’re really addicted to are those years-long threads of snippy factional elitism about the games. Dragons routinely get banned from MOBA forums for being the absolute worst accounts that technically never break the rules. They bicker about the meta like they’re experts hiding behind toons. They have literally never played the game.

    Liches are the ones getting wound-up by dragons in all those forums. Unironic edgelords with giant signatures and arcane medals below their ooh-so-spooky avatars. Any account created a week after the game launched, chewing out some friendly newbie for not knowing something the developer mentioned once on IRC, then getting tilted when a lizard-themed sockpuppet incorrectly nitpicks their grammar? Lich. They are of course the most toxic players in any game they hyperfixate on, because they’ll never, ever get banned. Through unnatural rituals like privately befriending the programmers, they are beyond consequence. They can still be spotted on chan boards saying shit that no mortal moderator could excuse. Ironically none of them play Urban Dead because they consider the revival mechanics insensitive.

    Fairies are the squeaky shit-talkers in hypercompetitive shooter lobbies. They are genuinely terrifying where twitch reactions matter. Fairies can rinse through Nuketown with twin shotguns while playing on DK Bongos. Their contentious relationship with humanity arises primarily from not respecting any strategy besides “Rush B.”

    • @mindbleach
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      181 year ago

      Dark Elves fucking love Among Us. Any backstabbing accusatory “social deduction” game is right up their alley. Dark Elves have GMod Murder variants where there is only one innocent and you win by killing them last.

      Tabaxi committed like half the funding for Star Citizen. Any game with exploration and arbitrage makes their pupils go wide.

      Warforged adore racing games because they don’t understand there’s a little man inside the car.

      • @mindbleach
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        101 year ago

        Vampire visual novels are the trashiest purple fanfiction on the internet. Vampires support an industry you’d swear was taking the piss, but they can literally smell insincerity. Some extremely old money goes to teenagers and spinsters with incomprehensibly naive views of romance. Somehow they build the most meticulously-crafted storylines imaginable. Popular streamers occasionally play these as a joke, and the utterly gripping emotional intensity can turn them into “RenPyFields.”

        Half-elves are too busy stanning HoloLive to play games.