Tagline
Tis the Season to be Sharky
Not really, I just made that one up
Shark Week continues!
Elevator pitch
- Hallmark makes a teen shark movie
Premise
A teen comic book nerd draws a comic about a Christmas-themed killer shark, which thanks to a magic pen comes to life and starts eating his family and friends.
Trailer
Full Movie
Details
Unless otherwise stated, all full movie links I post are for free, no account required, licensed (AFAIK, IANAL) streaming VOD in English (or original language with English subtitles) and work at time of writing in my location, Mexico. Availability and language options may be different in your location. Asterisk by the one I watched.
Legal stream finders
Details
The ‘nobraincellsleft’ link finds legit stream sources from many countries, listed by two-letter code.
The Just Watch link lists legit stream sources only for one country at a time. On the web page, change the country to your location, e.g. change Mexico to Australia.
Neither is perfect. Check your preferred streamers directly, just in case.
- https://nobraincellsleft.github.io/JustWatch-Search/title/tm429222
- https://www.justwatch.com/us/movie/santa-jaws
Info
Personnel
- Director: Misty Talley
Cast
- No one I’ve ever seen
Opinion
Just like a Hallmark movie, it’s competent without being especially entertaining, grey Canadian skies and 99.9% white. And it’s the shark movie you could watch with your parents or kids.
(Looking at the end credits, I see it was actually distributed by Sony Pictures Television and made in Louisiana. That explains the “TV family friendliness” and the absence of snow but not the absence of black folks.)
Provides a Christmasy twist on the final kill in Jaws, but succumbs to a family-friendly happy Xmas ending.
Shark Week Score: 2.5 out of 5 sharks. (I had to bump it up to respect the vast gulf between it and Cocaine Shark.)
Screenshots
Here comes Santa Jaws!
Bye bye, Pop Pop!
Hey Santa, if this is what happens to your staff, you need to improve your elf and safety.
Turns out, Santa Jaws is only vulnerable to Xmas-themed weapons.
Santa Jaws in all her glory
Bye bye, mom!
I’ve seen this one, it’s fun. Totally ridiculous