• @idiomaddict
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    1 year ago

    Frankly? Way too much oversharing with friends of all ages. That’s why it’s anecdotal, but it’s even changed in my time having sex. It’s just not something that I’ve seen studied by someone other than Christian mom groups.

    Edit: I can’t reply in a comment, so here’s my answer to azuth

    Well that’s a way of dismissing it, yes. However, I as the person involved in the conversation can tell you that is not the case. I’ve heard some incredibly over detailed and overshared information from older people. I’ve also fucked them, and they’re not as kinky ime, but that’s like four people instead of thirty. Foot fetishes don’t seem to be meaningfully more common among youth, but likelihood to have had anal sex, likelihood to have tried fisting, choking, or non-spanking painplay are much higher.

    I used to go to munches before the pandemic, and there’s obviously a lot of old people in BDSM, but it’s wild how much more quickly people discover it now. That’s a good thing, but it’s also a little concerning for me at least. My tastes have expanded with time, as most peoples do, but what’s going to be left at 70, if I’m getting ownership tattoos at 35? It’s cool to say, “whatever it is, I’ll enjoy it,” but there’s a physical cost to a lot of sex acts, especially extreme ones. Things like breast flogging are considered probably safe, but we don’t actually know if there’s lasting damage.

    Then there’s the people who don’t go to munches or participate in the BDSM scene, but still engage in a “lighter” form of it with partners. I and about half of my similarly aged friends have been at some point surprise choked by a partner, which as a description feels euphemistic, because it’s so much more dangerous than anything else. Doing it by surprise is something that I react to like it’s attempted murder, because someone’s putting their hands around my neck without a safe word or any built up trust, or even warning. My peer friends who aren’t in BDSM are all caught way off guard by that and tend to think I’m overreacting. Older vanilla friends see it mostly the same as I do, whereas kinky friends are universally bothered by it.

    • @azuth
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      51 year ago

      So it’s not actually the sexual ‘tastes’ that have changed but society’s willingness to speak about them?