I think it’s important to recognize that it’s not just unwell and delusional men. Many men discover porn as boys and it warps their view of “real” sex, not because they were unwell, but because they were impressionable and no one taught them anything different.

Also, I have heard countless stories from women about dudes who attempt things they saw in porn, often without consent. It’s unfortunately not an uncommon thing, and it’s not fair to say that all of these men are delusional–they’re confused, they lack crucial knowledge about love and intimacy, and they have mysoginistic ideas about women, sure. It’s highly problematic, but we can’t simply write them off as unwell. We need to hold them to a higher standard than that if we hope for them to take responsibility and do the work it takes to be better.