id cry about how much i miss my wife, snot bubbles and everything. i might even shit my pants out of sadness, id just be a blubbery mess, covered in shit, tears, and at that point, likely piss as well. my longing knows no bounds.

i love my wife. i dont even like blinking when im around her because it takes time away from viewing her eternal beauty and splendor.

id probably ask you for a napkin and maybe a platonic ride home.