Man, she just sounds parasitic. That really sucks. I don’t know anything about therapy or helping people with bad relationships or anything, but it also sounds like she’s isolated you pretty effectively, which I know is a common tactic for people like this.
You said you don’t have the skills to live independently - are you talking about day to day skills, like laundry and cooking; or are you talking more about being employable away from your family?
Depression make it hard to just… endure like a normal work week.
I mean I could probably be “normal” again if I have a safe environment I and get like antidepressants for 6 months, to like slowly transition to independence, but like if you immediately threw me out in the streets with no preparation, I’d probably die really quickly since I’m prediabetic and like hunger kills me really quickly… (like I just feel very shaky without food for like a few hours… if I’m outside and have to deal with extreme temperatures… yea I’d perish lol) and also like my throughts are all over the place…
But I don’t know like… how do I do it…
For context: My older brother is 5 years older than me and he’s still living at home… but he doesn’t even have depression, I do.
I kinda how to do do laundry, I did sometimes during my teen years.
I can sort of cook very basic foods, but no idea what is a “normal” nutricious meal… idk how to make 90% of the stuff my dad makes. Too complicated. Idk how to do grocery shopping really. Like more of just anxiety.
I have servere separation anxiety… I tried living at college-owned appartments for some time… I couldn’t sleep at night…
I really can’t get used to living with “strangers”.
So sharing a living space with others could be just as bad as, if not worse, than family.
I really have a fear of someone trying to poison me or mess with my stuff…
Living alone is… well expensive… and also doesn’t really solve the separation anxiety issue.
Idk what my brain is doing. Why am I so emotionally attached to my abusive parents? Especially very attached to my mother even though she is the most abusive one…
It’s really strange… please don’t judge me lol… like I feel anxious around my mother, but also anxious when I’m away from my mother…
Ugh, that is a shitty situation - wish I knew better how to help you get out of it! No judgement either - from what I understand, all of this is pretty common in these sorts of relationships. And yeah, depression makes everything far harder than it seems like it should be.
Like others have said, this is absolutely a situation where professional help is warranted. I know it might be tricky to figure out a regular schedule with one, but I think it’d be worth reaching out - I strongly suspect most would be flexible with a situation like yours, especially as it doesn’t sound uncommon (meaning they may well already have a process in place for helping people in your situation).
As for the separation anxiety issue: I wonder if you might be able to adjust your tolerance? Sleep a little farther away in the house and see how that goes, and once that’s feeling comfortable, sleep on the opposite end, then try a little farther again? I have no idea of that would work, but it’s one more thing that might give you some control.
(I’m also here to just vent to, if you need it! Hearing about a situation like yours has me wanting to fix it, but I can also just listen!)
Man, she just sounds parasitic. That really sucks. I don’t know anything about therapy or helping people with bad relationships or anything, but it also sounds like she’s isolated you pretty effectively, which I know is a common tactic for people like this.
You said you don’t have the skills to live independently - are you talking about day to day skills, like laundry and cooking; or are you talking more about being employable away from your family?
Depression make it hard to just… endure like a normal work week.
I mean I could probably be “normal” again if I have a safe environment I and get like antidepressants for 6 months, to like slowly transition to independence, but like if you immediately threw me out in the streets with no preparation, I’d probably die really quickly since I’m prediabetic and like hunger kills me really quickly… (like I just feel very shaky without food for like a few hours… if I’m outside and have to deal with extreme temperatures… yea I’d perish lol) and also like my throughts are all over the place…
But I don’t know like… how do I do it…
For context: My older brother is 5 years older than me and he’s still living at home… but he doesn’t even have depression, I do. I kinda how to do do laundry, I did sometimes during my teen years.
I can sort of cook very basic foods, but no idea what is a “normal” nutricious meal… idk how to make 90% of the stuff my dad makes. Too complicated. Idk how to do grocery shopping really. Like more of just anxiety.
I have servere separation anxiety… I tried living at college-owned appartments for some time… I couldn’t sleep at night…
I really can’t get used to living with “strangers”.
So sharing a living space with others could be just as bad as, if not worse, than family.
I really have a fear of someone trying to poison me or mess with my stuff…
Living alone is… well expensive… and also doesn’t really solve the separation anxiety issue.
Idk what my brain is doing. Why am I so emotionally attached to my abusive parents? Especially very attached to my mother even though she is the most abusive one…
It’s really strange… please don’t judge me lol… like I feel anxious around my mother, but also anxious when I’m away from my mother…
So I guess TLDR is just: Separation Anxiety
Ugh, that is a shitty situation - wish I knew better how to help you get out of it! No judgement either - from what I understand, all of this is pretty common in these sorts of relationships. And yeah, depression makes everything far harder than it seems like it should be.
Like others have said, this is absolutely a situation where professional help is warranted. I know it might be tricky to figure out a regular schedule with one, but I think it’d be worth reaching out - I strongly suspect most would be flexible with a situation like yours, especially as it doesn’t sound uncommon (meaning they may well already have a process in place for helping people in your situation).
As for the separation anxiety issue: I wonder if you might be able to adjust your tolerance? Sleep a little farther away in the house and see how that goes, and once that’s feeling comfortable, sleep on the opposite end, then try a little farther again? I have no idea of that would work, but it’s one more thing that might give you some control.
(I’m also here to just vent to, if you need it! Hearing about a situation like yours has me wanting to fix it, but I can also just listen!)