No no no, they only care about the best interests of their employees! That’s why they spend so much fighting unions. It has no profit motive whatsoever. Because, obviously, the union won’t be able to secure any better wages or benefits anyway! So there’s really no reason to unionize. Ever. Don’t even talk about it. Definitely don’t talk about it with your co-workers. Definitely don’t leave union literature on the break room table. Certainly don’t bring up unionizing to a few people you trust.