Not sure about normal, but I’d be okay with it.

Besides, I don’t think it’s necessarily true that you’re excluded from their dream of being a PhD. Your mileage may vary though, since depending on how they are committed to their dream of being a PhD, your (future) life with them might take a backseat.

as an autistic person, if you succeed on coaxing him to your liking then you’re in the wrong here and will turn your relationship to unhealthy one, my definition of healthy relationship is both parties are encouraging each other to grow independent of each other.

Here’s the foundation principles I would like to be in a relationship:

• both partners feel accepted, and have freedom to be themselves
  • You should never need to hide part of yourself to be accepted by your partner, get that phd jok
• both partners are equal members of the relationship
  • So they have equal say about what happens in the relationship, personal choices is outside of this scope
• Meaningful Lives Outside the Relationship
  • Clinging to each other too much is a huge red flag for me, goals, family and friends should be equal to gf/bf remember that he/she is not everything and he/she should be just a part of your life not the whole of it very unhealthy
• Shared Selflessness
  • If you are more concerned with what your partner can do for you than what you can do for your partner, then you should not be with your partner and vice versa

I’ve never been into relationship btw so do what you want, also don’t think of my word unhealthy as derogatory there’s a fine line between unhealthy and abusive, unhealthy can be made healthy and abusive is a lost cause, and the former imho is what you will achieve if you coax him