I feel like crap all the time, and I’m running out of curt answers.
I don’t want to lie and say I’m good just because that’s what’s expected of me, but I don’t want to invite discussion into why I feel poorly.
My go-to response is “Living the dream,” because if this life is a dream I hope to wake up soon. Plus not only is it considered an acceptable answer, it can be played off as a joke.
If anyone needs extra context, being asked “how are you” is an extended part of the greeting here. The asker is really just saying hello still, and although some kind of answer is expected, they aren’t actually curious about your welfare. A genuine response throws people off balance, and is probably unwarranted. Think of coworkers, service workers, or even total strangers being asked this dozens of times a day.
I live in the US where it is just a greeting, but grew up in a different culture where it is almost always taken literally and isn’t something you ask a stranger. I tend to answer honestly because I want to normalize not being fake polite and I almost always have some bullshit to call out. If you can find something to complain about that other people also hate, it’s a great way to bond around how shitty the world can be. :D