Somebody stole the Holy H-Bomb of Antioch. A team of Vatican operatives is dispatched to find it before the story hits the press. Reporters pull some threads and start taking rumors of the heist a little more seriously by the time the bomb is located. Action scene on a ship in bad weather, baddies get pulped, biblically-inspired one-liners add insult to fatal injury.

Because of details, the team has to heroically sacrifice itself to scuttle the ship (conveniently located over a deep trench or other feature to make recovery practically impossible). Cool explosion with what’s left in the effects budget.

Final scenes open on a Vatican spokesperson successfully convincing a bunch of reporters that there’s nothing to these crazy stories about the nuke being stolen and what a tragedy that accidental oil rig fire was. Behind closed doors, power-havers decide that the world can never know the truth and lay it on thick with a message about the power of faith.

Money please, Hollywood.