Essentially, I want us to sound like cavemen.
I’ll start:
HomesliceAbe was playing Mario kart and HomesliceAbe’s dad couldn’t think of name of one of courses (HomesliceAbe thinks name was "Moonview Highway?). HomesliceAbe’s dad called course “Homeslice Highway” and HomesliceAbe thought new name was hilarious. Also, HomesliceAbe is big fan of Abraham Lincoln.
OP doesn’t want his crush knowing that he poops. Simple as.