cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46553906

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/46553315

So I’m a psychonaut. Mostly sober now, THC aplenty, though less than before, and I dabble in psychedelics for the rare sacrament of gaining perspective of myself to ensure I am aligned with my highest intent, but being a psychonaut is not about doing substances. It’s about exploring the mind, and I have done experimentation with the various states of partial consciousness as one is drifting between awake and sleep.

I used to practice lucid dreaming, but that was a hollow pursuit; life is meant to be an adventure with unknowns over each horizon. But as such, I’ve developed an quasi-awareness as I choose to fall asleep while meditating, and the mind can go in many directions when the waking consciousness is let go of.

One of these states you are almost certainly familiar with; that of being in the process of falling asleep to get horny to wake yourself back up to take care of that, however that happens in your bed. And this is what I played with last night, after not masturbating for two days, drifting between states of consciousness to rise into a passive randiness that I would rate at a “7” in terms of force over my consciousness, but when I set my intention in that direction, the pleasure of my body dropped to about a “4,” and the things that were exciting me returned to meh in my return to consciousness.

And as I said, I played with this, choosing to “wake up” with no bodily movement, to let myself fall back “asleep,” and in this oscillation, which raised those feelings into a higher state, and I got to experience closed-eye hallucinations that would lead to invigorating me so that when I couldn’t resist anymore. I pretty much just touched my penis to make it go off with much ado in regards to that sort of thing. 10/10.

My life partner, a highly adept Buddhist with a screw loose, taught me the ability to orgasm without ejaculation, which is uncomfortable, but that taught me the relativity of some literally mechanical function within my nervous system. To explain, my dad scared me with a realistic Halloween mask when I was trying to pee at age three. I’ve had trouble peeing in a lotta circumstances because of this, I know. There is a “sliding lock” mechanism somewhere in the throat chakra (nerve plexus) that changes something about signals from brain to the rest of the body and vice versa, and part of this results in my bladder muscles always clenching, and it is a subtle difference to let that go without doing the same to my prostate.

Therein, in last night’s whatchamacallit, I felt ANOTHER “slide lock” not being engaged in my partial consciousness, which when combined with the arousal I was feeling, led to like a gallon of semen shooting out of me. It was an absurd amount. But this is stuff the Buddha talked about, like how there’s ten different colors of semen that have different spiritual meanings, whatever that means. I just know if my semen is red, I should go to the doctor. Blue, too.