I have occasional bathroom issues caused by food sensitivities (damn your delicious yet toxic nature, nacho cheese).

These bathroom issues involves pooping a bunch of times in one day. The frequent pooping and wiping severely irritate my poor butthole, aggravating hemorrhoids and anal fissures.

I know lots of people around here swear by the miracle of bidets, but before I start shopping around, I’m wondering if there are any naysayers out there who just don’t like bidets, along with why that’s the case.

Bonus question: how do I use a bidet? Most of the instructions I’ve found are a bit delicate about the details. Anyone want to give me a detailed description of how and what to do?

My swollen, bloody anus thanks you.

  • @AttackBunny
    English
    31•10 months ago

    I can’t believe I’m saying all this on the internet but here it goes.

    I have TONS of food sensitivities, and IBS-C (mostly). Needless to say, I see the toilet a fair amount. I can’t believe I’m posting this. lol.

    Pre bidet, things got tender, fissures, hemorrhoids, bleeding, etc were all pretty common. Post bidet, like never, or at least very rarely. I have to something incredibly stupid for any major issues now.

    I got one of the expensive ones that has heated seat, deodorizer, heated water with multiple temp settings, multiple spray options, dryer (takes too long), etc. it wasn’t cheap. Every time I have to use the toilet in the wild, it’s terrible.

    We went on vacation a while ago, and that whole week was rough. Never felt clean, and my rear was definitely sorer than when at home.

    Basically, totally worth every penny. I can never go back.

    To answer the bonus question, it will partly depend on the budget you get. If you get a manual one, it has a lever to move the water flow around. If it doesn’t, you just wiggle around a bit, to get the water where you want it. If you get one of the expensive ones, with a moving water nozzle, it does the bulk of the work for you, but you may still have to wiggle a little to get everywhere.

    Once the water has washed everything away, you can either wait to drip dry, or if your bidet has a dryer you can use that, but typically I just take like 4-5 squares of TP to dry off. I use WAY less TP than ever.

    Depending on the bidet you get, be ready for needing to get some conversion hardware to install it. The kohler one I got, didn’t have the correct fittings for standard American plumbing (doesn’t make a lot of sense but Home Depot guy already knew exactly what was going on and said it was super common).

    I can answer any other specific questions you have too. Just ask.