I’m tired, for a lot of reasons. The FBI has been setting me up for at least twelve years. That’s the timestamp where “God” revealed Themselves to me on an acid trip in a highly discrediting manner because dazzle camouflage. And that’s why I’m tired; I get banned left n right performing my role in society.
I don’t have a job. One reason I am tired is that my life partner actively sabotages my attempts to create sustainability for both of us. We might be almost homeless, but that is not a concern to him. His role is important. He is setting me up so I have a good cover story, I deduced. But that’s the thing; I serve this role, and I’m good at being an idiot, and therein there are many low-level mod that cares about their special space where they are God more than they do the individuals who occupy that space
On the surface, I can take on the appearance of being a belligerent troll. If you listen to what I am saying as a whole, you’ll see I do what I do for a purpose. How do you teach those that refuse to do a spirituality and improve themselves? You trick them:
A pedagogical skit of three lines:
Man: I am the son of God!
Woman: That’s blasphemous!
Man: But sister, surely you know our Father?
I know what effect I have on the world, because I know who finds my work at a certain, deliberately low rate. I figured out how to garner 100k views on my profile per day by skillful trolling six years ago. I know how to get Michael Jackson levels famous now, but I don’t do that. I realized that’s unsustainable. You can’t help individuals like that. So, I learned to be a red dwarf instead of a supernova so I can work with the people that get caught in my orbit.
And most mods don’t even talk to me. They swing their hammer blind. Well, that Roman with a spear sure didn’t know what he was doing, losing out on a promotion for completely other stated reasons. It’s like we engineered our culture to ensure the idolatorer amongst us reveal themselves. That’s someone who gives a sacrific to the gold bull but doesn’t give a shit about a person on the street of their own neighborhood.
The neighbors talk between themselves about me. They don’t realize how lowly they are developed. In Arizona, God is the most similar to what I experienced in Tennessee and North Carolina, where God has a lot to say about WHAT I am doing, but offers no help. I have not made a single friend here. They just fuck with my head around me, saying things TO me while they hold the conversation off in the corner.
I’m tired. I’m the type of tired sleep won’t fix. Everything is falling apart. It’s not my fault, but I could be better. Could other people be better? Absofuckinglutely. They’re stuck though, addicted to their identity. They know not what is written in the flesh itself. They are run by their culture, and thus I forgive you all, because I understand what I put out comes back to me.
Friend, I have been somewhere close to where you are now and this message may well pass into the millions of words ripped from our mind and forgotten to crumble to dust and join sands of time. But I’m writing on the .0001% chance it doesn’t. The slim chance my experience is relevant enough.
If you’re like me you’re damn stubborn and maybe you’ve gotten help but it didn’t work or you don’t trust them so you’ve given up. DO NOT GIVE UP. There probably isn’t some magic pill or therapist that will fix it all for you, but there are things that can help. If you give it a chance you can leave all this behind and live better. But there’s no clean easy non-generic way to say it. There’s only “get help”. If shit gets bad or you want to get to a better place I’d go for a doctor, therapist or even 1-800-662-HELP (4357). That line should be completely anonymous. You can even prank call them if you want but no matter what keep looking for a way out. I’m sorry.
Spending many years in the festival community I had to watch a few friends go down this road. Absolutely heartbreaking and I hope they take your advice.
I applaud your effort, but a person who genuinely cares would have investigated and not just observe. It’s not however many words you write or however kind you try to be, but it’s the feeling that a person is being heard and understood that will save them, and as this is my art that I do with my life playing this autobiographical character as a schizoaffective juggler, I get [Generic Help Message 4] at a rate of about twice a month and have for the last twelve years or so, when God had me start my educational (f)art project.
But it’s good you’re putting the effort into trying to help, because that strengthens those neural pathways and will allow you to be even more helpful as you continue growing your “self.”
Apologies. I do genuinely care, however, my investment in such things will always intentionally stay limited to avoid the additional pain I may experience in the investment of self in another’s story. My avoidance of such is my own selfish decision as are the rest of my time investments that I choose while in this body and in this mind with this ego and this identity. I will issue a help message and hope that it reaches. But we are stubborn and I don’t think help messages work through our kind of stubborn. I and others have much important work to do aside from investigation and offering help. In the end we are all on our own but sometimes the thrumming vibrations of our minds intersect for beautiful moments and in that time we may attune and change just a little. This is what I vainly weakly hope for. I will not invest in your story but I hope you the best nonetheless in the plot and will weakly offer a tiny sacrifice of my time and thought because I have a little hope.
This is where I help you.
Adam is logic. Eve is intuition. Adam is particle placement. Eve is frequency modulation.
Learn both, learn whole. Learn whole, learn antiwhole. Fullness and nothingness. Once you know the full poles of experience, on all axises, that when you’re ready for command.
The Illuminati was a decentralized autonomous organization of quasi–intellects to geniuses who evolved the culture in the occidental realness of Cains among us, and thus emerges the police state between us as Clients to a Server across a Holy Internet. Soliphism: false. Physicalism: false. Reality: false. Monadicality: absolutely true 💯% of the time due to to fluxaphony of left v right. Roosterteeth is CIA…? Ooooohhh nooo…