I do get your point here, and honestly I wholly agree. However, I do want to make a point that big dick energy/little dick energy is rarely ever to actually do with the body. It’s a cultural shorthand for expressing that someone is insecure with their identity and compensate for it by aggressively flaunting the arbitrary thing they picked to decide they’re better than other people. Every guy I’ve met with a massive dong has positively oozed small dick energy because they feel the need to judge dudes who do not have dicks their size or gals that are not interested in them for it.

I’m in a similar position with “white people” things. As a white male who comes from a long line of counter culture ancestors, I still have a viseral reaction when I hear the vapid, racist, and entitled nonsense of our society get referred to that way. Try as we might though, my spouse and I can’t find a better way to state it that doesn’t take an essay to understand. I live in Kansas, everyone but my spouse is white, when I see a lifted truck roll coal on a cyclist and say “fucking white people” I’m not taking about my boss or the old couple we adopted as grandparents, I’m using a shorthand.

I understand that this comes again from a negative place and while I want for change I have yet to see anything that encapsulates these ideas and also provides a harmful blow to the targeted audience. That is an important point. Gentle language is important for the well being of everyone but you need tough language to enforce an understanding of wrong doing. You cannot gentle parent a kid away from putting a fork in an outlet, you need to set an understanding that it is not ok. Pejorative language to shame actions is the only way we can culturally push back against bad actors. So when we say this guy has a micropenis, it isn’t about his body, he may have the biggest cock in town, what we’re really saying is “no amount compensation will make up for you being a terrible member of society” but in a way that actually hurts people because societally we have agreed it is a hurtful thing to hear.

On the long list of other linguistic things that fit the bill, swears that are bodily functions, religious explanations, genitals, or sex. Responses to sneezes that are religious. Complements that are rooted in appearance. Insults that are or were medical terms for disabilities. Unfortunately, it’s everywhere in our language. Lame was an insult to the handicapped, dumb used to mean you couldn’t speak, bastard used to be as bad as any racial slur. It’s incredibly hard to escape this in our language.