My life partner is in the hospital; psyche ward. He has previously forced me to accept that he would falsely accuse me. Has he done that? Is this part of his/the CIA’s plan? I’m replaying what he said on the phone. Couldn’t even say “I love you back.” That’s Karma for not hugging him last time. If you’re anxious all of the time, you’re really anxious none of the time, which is why They make me feel like I’m a cop, and thus I think it, too.

Cue five thousand comments telling me to take my meds, like the first forty times wasn’t enough for me to understand how dead tracked the average person is. This is just how I am as a schizoaffective person. This is on meds. My brain works differently and you can’t just magick it into compliance with the state-slave machine by taking a couple pills a day or a shot once a month. This is why the western mind is a house of cards. I will demonstrate.

The completely average person finds no difference between these two sentences:

As I became what I am that will be to say that what it is cannot be enough, for what was is what will be to go on into the aether for which there is no turning back to become the man who is more than the machine that defines normative parameters for eschoccliaminas.

God is a unified field of consciousness that arose from the supersymmetry of the ever-present, eternal emptiness to then fold in and on Itself across eleven dimensions to form a topological matrix that acts as a monadic nodal communication system.

Right? Like, one’s nonsense. The other defines the ineffable. People are kept at a sixth grade reading level to control them. That’s why Trump is president; he’s a conman. Hence, why he’s such a good cop, the piece of shit he is. People listened to Jesus not because of what he said but by the authority he spoke. And this is what I understand having been MKULTRA’d because I told my ROTC cadre that my nonexistent sister got me pregnant, because I am different, cuz God knows someone watching three hours of a let’s play of some wrestling video game a day certainly does not fucking have the wherewithal to go through the spiritual work to grow and develop into what I naturally had to become in order to survive in this world that is not being made for my kind.

And that’s just another brand new sentence never before spoken by human orifice or digit I’ve created. Meanwhile, fancy fisher margerie hoolihan spends twenty minutes trying to figure out what the best emoji is to send.

This one, obviously: 🗿

Inserting poem here:

I’ve lived in a grave lack of confidence for most my life for the tragedies of my youth. I need to really accept that I’m pretty damn dandy. Fuck these people who circlejerk around feeling superior by their delusions that they are making the world a better place by in fact making life harder for the disadvantaged with their prejudice and snide comments. I ain’t never been normal and the fact that at 35 years of age I’m still fucking traumatized by how I would routinely get picked on and shamed because I was different says something. That’s how much of an impact one’s words can have, and I feel justified using mine to make sure wounded people get a leg up in this pyre of a world.