• beerclue
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    5 days ago

    Just acknowledge it, without being weird about it. It’s not a disability. I joke about my ASD, and make fun of my ADHD wife (and the other way around).

    Ask if they need anything, and don’t be high context, be direct. I don’t know your brother’s situation, but I personally struggle reading between the lines. I take things literally.

      • beerclue
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        5 days ago

        Ok, it’s a developmental disability, but it’s also on a large spectrum. I only got diagnosed in my 40s. I lived my life as “the weird one”, but even after I got diagnosed, I still don’t consider myself “disabled”…

        • Kichae@lemmy.ca
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          5 days ago

          Disability is a social construct, the result of people not having the supports they need to live lives unburdened by undue friction. The disability factor shows up awful quick if and when you suddenly find yourself without your supports and coping mechanisms, but it’s not really a disability until then.

          By the same metric, severe poverty is a disability, albeit an unrecognized one.

        • wbrianwhite@lemmy.zip
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          5 days ago

          You’re describing a gradient. That isn’t what spectrum means. We all have a spectrum of symptoms - some kind of sensory processing issue, some kind of social interaction problems, some kind of repetitive motion issue, etc. Only when you have one issue in each category are you autistic.

          I’m AuDhd myself - ADHD is comorbid with autism in a large percent of people. If you don’t think it’s a disability, you may still be in some denial about its effects on your life.

          • beerclue
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            4 days ago

            You might be right. I am not a native EN speaker, so that might play a role too.

            My wife has severe ADHD. All our kids too (diagnosed and medicated). One of them is AuDHD, with a “harder” autism gradient (?) compared to me… She does have severe social interaction problems.

            For me it’s been strange - I have CPTSD, growing up autistic in a household that would “pray the gay away”… not easy. I moved out as soon as I could. But I’ve lived all my life by heavily masking. I learned how to behave from TV shows and observing others. Social interactions have always been a “show” for me. Only after I got diagnosed it started to make sense…

      • rumschlumpel@feddit.org
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        5 days ago

        Depends on the person, really. For some, the only issue is the hostility of most people to anything “different”, others can barely function.

        Legal status is a different matter, though.

      • Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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        5 days ago

        It’s a difference in brain structure, not necessarily debilitating. Any differences can be debilitating, but you wouldn’t think that the muscular hypertrophy disorder is necessarily a disability. Different needs to be managed definitely.