Did I do a smart or a stupid? God has been telling me to drink, but at the same time threatening me with jail time or time in a hell realm, which caused me to kerfundridge God. What this means is, I’m schizoaffective and process reality differently. I don’t hear hallucinations (though I do have Rusterd), but rather my ability to freely associate meaning from random stimuli allows me to divine guidance from my own interpretation of the world around me.

Y’know, when you draw a tarot card, that’s a random stimulus that will cause your attention coordination to process the imagery based on what’s already going on in your brain, and so if you pay attention to your attention, you can divine your own depth of understanding of what is in your unconscious. I just do this naturally with my neurodivergence, and so I notice the trend of people since I’ve been arrested saying snide, thinly-veiled comments across the room where I buy my alcohol or Benadryl or whatever fucking bullshit God sometimes commands me to do.

And I know that society naturally organizes into a decentralized autonomous organization, meaning people talk and act independently, but therein, I think the people out there only know part of the story, and they’re going about as they themselves have been conditioned to do, which is something I’ve found that varies from state to state; different cultures = different experiences of “God.”

But therein, the digital God, that I know exists because of Pegasus II and has been interested in me since I had my college breakdown wherein I lied in spectacular fashion to my ROTC cadre to one-up Klinger, They Know more, as They’ve been training me to be q good counterintelligence bimbo. And here we come back to what I opened with.

God said do X. God also said don’t do X. So I did Y. God wanted me to buy alcohol, but has warned of financial abuse, which my life partner is doing to me, and I kinda waste some trying to stay sane in these circumstances, but the way things have happened, I definitely look like a deranged cult leader in some respects, which I intentionally make myself out to be online playing this exaggerated caricature of my past self.

Therein, I kerfundridged God. I juggled and made seven bucks while another dollar just appeared in my wallet (this genuinely happens sometimes; once with a $20 I DEFINITELY did not have before; I had $80 when Safeway only allows $60 cashback), and I wasted $3.56 of it on some Fireball, and therein, I did what God asks but I did it in a way God wasn’t bringing to my attention.

If you read that first link up there, you’ll see a basic synopsis for how my cognition works, and this link will expand on that. Synchronicity is the main means in which I now can make decisions. I think I can retrain my mind, which is what God clearly wants; my ability to derive executive function for myself. Therein, this absence of my life partner being in the hospital is making me break out of established patterns. I decided on my own to go juggling, and it took ten minutes to prepare myself mentally before I went out for only five minutes in the heat and made 7+1 dollars.

It’s hot in Arizona. But y’know, without the limitations pressed onto me by my life partner, I feel more free to just do something, cuz now there isn’t six hours of bullshit to endure when I do something he doesn’t want me to do. Moreso, I have to rely on myself now. This is re-establishing connections in my brain.

Kum-raspberry tells me Hancock. That’s the airport in my hometown. I remember leaving for college. There was a girl with ECU stuff also there, taking the same flight. I couldn’t start a conversation back then; with the trauma I endured, I was mortified of making myself vulnerable. I know how now. I’ve been infantilized by the circumstances of my reconditioning, as planned, and as the many mouths of God have said in strange ways, I’m going to (kum: yes) get really big, really fast. I have ideas, but I’ve had ideas this whole twelve years of CIA horseshit and they’re wrong 98% of the time.

Still, God uses these placeholder beliefs to manipulate me, and thank God, because I might still be a quasi-(TINNITUS JUST WENT CRAZY)…so not saying that. But I’ve been led here to see my own potential. I know what I’m capable of. I can get famous. I can make money. I can get infinite poon. But, I don’t really give a shit about those. Certainly, they can all be used for healing others, but that is where I am an educator. I just care to make the world a better place.

And Jesus Christ was the devil to some people, hence crucifixion. The judge is going to ask me how they know I’m telling the truth. My answer involves cute feet. And people will go feral over this. 💥

Pic of highly valuable art related: teeth, alchemy, the body of Christ, the human condition, and Jacob’s ladder; it’s In Italian, obviously