There are very few downsides I’ve noticed to getting stronger, but I definitely miss the feeling when I first started and every dumbbell I would ever use for my working sets always felt “light” in the sense that I never felt fear of the dumbbell, I never had problems maneuvering it, racking or unracking it, walking it to the bench etc…

But now when I pick up the 55lb or 60lb dumbbells, I feel a significant and unsettling hint of angst/dread because they are noticeably too big to carry around effortlessly. I genuinely enjoy going to the gym and I’m always in a happy mood but the 55lb & heavier dumbbells act sorta like a buzz-kill, especially if I do fewer reps then expected or have an off-day, essentially creating a negative feedback loop where my angst/dread is “reinforced” as valid (which it’s not valid, there should never be any dread/angst from selecting appropriate dumbbells from the rack).

Is there a mental form cue or reframing trick I can use to spin that apprehensive emotion into a positive one? If there are no shortcuts, then what muscles do I need to strengthen in order to make the 55lb & heavier dumbbells feel light/effortless like the 20lb dumbbells felt when I first began lifting? I improved my PR yesterday by 1 rep but I couldn’t properly enjoy it because of the slightly unsettling vibe that larger dumbbells give me. Lastly, the problem is getting worse lately due to the self-reinforcing nature described earlier so I’d really prefer to nip this problem while it’s still in the bud. 💪

  • alliwantsodaOP
    1·
    3 days ago

    In some ways, heavy weights stay heavy. After all, dropping a 20 lb dumbbell on your foot still hurts even if it doesn’t feel like any weight while you lift it.

    Thanks for explicitly mentioning this! It jogged a memory of a stupid habit where after I finish my 3rd rep on heavy shoulder dumbbell presses, I lazily “slam” the dumbbells onto my legs (habitually) because they are rubber and the 40’s and 45’s don’t hurt when I do that. But the 55lb & 60lb dumbbells actually hurt significantly compared to the 45’s and the 55/60’s leave bruises because I’m so focused on slow eccentric that I mentally “clock out” and just drop the weights onto my lap before racking them and exhale a victory sigh. It reminds me of the death 10 months ago of an extremely reputed climber 23yo Balin Miller who finished his dangerous climb of El-Capitan but died 5 minutes later while descending 20 feet to retrieve his chalk bag because he forgot to tie off his belay during a TikTok livestream. In other words, he declared the feat “completed/finished” in his mind before it actually was.

    I believe you helped me solve the mystery and in fact, the fear/dread is my brain reminding me not to do that with the 55lb & 60lb dumbbells… 🤦‍♂️ This also aligns with the “unable to properly celebrate improving my PR by adding another rep” mentioned in the OP because that’s actually where I recently noticed the negative emotion most acutely and I felt robbed of the wave/rush of happiness/excitement you get from besting your PR on your favorite lift.