I’ve gotten some traction with people in changing their mind by not necessarily befriending but being amicable and making sure they felt heard and understood. Their mental barriers fall vs in direct conflict where it’s nearly impossible to change anything. I always imagine it like a walk and we’re walking together towards Truth. They may be at a different place than me and one I dislike but I can let go of my ego for a moment to see if they’re receptive. That said it’s a judgement call, some people are too anchored in to go in a stroll down a new mental pathway.
Honestly it’s a bit like a therapy session, but I’m the therapist. If they are willing it’s really cool, you see their mind light up as it reaches a destination it hasn’t been to before and you start to see the pathways to the location they were grow a little dim and distant.
I know it sounds corny but love is really the way to change the world.
I understand that it’s very useful to demonstrate your listening skills by restating their opinions back, then check with them to see if you’re stating things correctly.
After a certain amount of that, in which some trust is built up, I suppose one could then apply a bit of the Socratic method here and there.
The other trick is not starting the conversation, just going with it when it comes up. I’ve had a few really powerful moments where someone did a full 180 on something they were heavily against. A situation where a roommates friend who was particularly against African Americans and a family member and a few others who were very against LGBTQ comes to mind.
A lot of things are like a dance, the pendulum swings this way and then swings that way and then swings back and consciously or usually unconsciously people go with the flow. When you sidestep the typical flow it gets more intriguing. Doesn’t always work through.
Personally I don’t believe anyone is evil, it’s just that their mind or heart has gotten stuck in ignorance somewhere and the ultimate punishment is healing. Me causing more needless and avoidable suffering goes against my personal goal of decreasing needless and avoidable suffering for all minds wherever I can. Now if they are willing to walk from that location to one of a new awareness then awesome, if not then it’s not the time and place for that shift for them.
Every experience I’ve had with this stuff sees the person reverting back once they go back to their regular programming. So often people come around and agree stuff is bad and the next day go back to repeating it that I no longer bother, they’re rarely ever sincere.
There’s some degree of neural inertia so to speak, when minds have carved themselves into a shape they tend to resist most change, same as the banks of a river. I’ve seen both someone actually change and someone go back. For what it’s worth I’m not stressed by my attempts to change them, I find it fun and entertaining. I have said though you need to feel it out. If someone is anchored in there’s no point really. It’s just the ones where there is movement where I’m intrigued. There’s a reason they say children are the future, they’re not mentally anchored to much so one can redefine what is normal, right, or wrong very easily.
We’re not here to be super man or wonder woman, not to save the world. Just make it a little better than it was before we leave this place so that others may know less needless and avoidable suffering. As they say, it’s a wise person who plants trees whose shade they will never know.
I’ve gotten some traction with people in changing their mind by not necessarily befriending but being amicable and making sure they felt heard and understood. Their mental barriers fall vs in direct conflict where it’s nearly impossible to change anything. I always imagine it like a walk and we’re walking together towards Truth. They may be at a different place than me and one I dislike but I can let go of my ego for a moment to see if they’re receptive. That said it’s a judgement call, some people are too anchored in to go in a stroll down a new mental pathway.
Honestly it’s a bit like a therapy session, but I’m the therapist. If they are willing it’s really cool, you see their mind light up as it reaches a destination it hasn’t been to before and you start to see the pathways to the location they were grow a little dim and distant.
I know it sounds corny but love is really the way to change the world.
I understand that it’s very useful to demonstrate your listening skills by restating their opinions back, then check with them to see if you’re stating things correctly.
After a certain amount of that, in which some trust is built up, I suppose one could then apply a bit of the Socratic method here and there.
The other trick is not starting the conversation, just going with it when it comes up. I’ve had a few really powerful moments where someone did a full 180 on something they were heavily against. A situation where a roommates friend who was particularly against African Americans and a family member and a few others who were very against LGBTQ comes to mind.
A lot of things are like a dance, the pendulum swings this way and then swings that way and then swings back and consciously or usually unconsciously people go with the flow. When you sidestep the typical flow it gets more intriguing. Doesn’t always work through.
Personally I don’t believe anyone is evil, it’s just that their mind or heart has gotten stuck in ignorance somewhere and the ultimate punishment is healing. Me causing more needless and avoidable suffering goes against my personal goal of decreasing needless and avoidable suffering for all minds wherever I can. Now if they are willing to walk from that location to one of a new awareness then awesome, if not then it’s not the time and place for that shift for them.
Every experience I’ve had with this stuff sees the person reverting back once they go back to their regular programming. So often people come around and agree stuff is bad and the next day go back to repeating it that I no longer bother, they’re rarely ever sincere.
There’s some degree of neural inertia so to speak, when minds have carved themselves into a shape they tend to resist most change, same as the banks of a river. I’ve seen both someone actually change and someone go back. For what it’s worth I’m not stressed by my attempts to change them, I find it fun and entertaining. I have said though you need to feel it out. If someone is anchored in there’s no point really. It’s just the ones where there is movement where I’m intrigued. There’s a reason they say children are the future, they’re not mentally anchored to much so one can redefine what is normal, right, or wrong very easily.
We’re not here to be super man or wonder woman, not to save the world. Just make it a little better than it was before we leave this place so that others may know less needless and avoidable suffering. As they say, it’s a wise person who plants trees whose shade they will never know.