I was talking with someone today and realized I did something I do quite often that might be a trait that gets me into trouble: I boldly state my preference for (or against) something.
In this case, it was being tired of classic rock from a lifetime of overexposure. I think I offended the person, but saved it by clarifying that I’m mostly tired that there is a play list of seemingly 100-songs that have been in continual rotation for 50 years.
Anyway, it occurs to me that I’m just stating my preferences and I personally thing that’s fine and normal, but that people get personally offended if you don’t like what they like; which makes no sense to me. It’s like if you don’t like bland food, I’m not going to get offended because I can’t handle anything hotter than black pepper. It doesn’t ultimately mean anything significant.
Thoughts, ideas, suggestions?
I usually say something generic that makes it clear the “issue” is mine like “this isn’t my vibe” or “I’m not feeling this today” or like, “I’m not sure this is my thing” just super generic, no strong conviction and an I statement. But the important part is to suggest something else, otherwise I’m just offloading my problem, it’s no one’s problem but mine if I don’t want to listen to classic rock for example so if I just tell you “I have a problem” that implies I’m expecting you to fix it. If I give you a problem, like I don’t want to listen to this, I also need to provide my own solution. “This music is just not hitting for me today, could we try some alt rock instead?” and if they agree I provide the music. I’ve never had an issue with this method and I also hate when people offload their problems onto me without providing solutions so I try to treat others how I want to be treated and cover both parts, politely stating the problem and offering a solution.