• venusaur
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    4 days ago

    If you can’t trust your partner to not secretly request to deform your vagina, you probably shouldn’t be having a baby with them.

    Obviously this is more nuanced, so maybe allow two people in the operating room. A partner and an advocate.

    • mbfalzar@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      3 days ago

      I wouldn’t even joke about it and find the practice abhorrent even as a joke, but it was done to my wife (we believe) without prompting. No sex at all until cleared by the OB/GYN she saw regularly (not the doctor who did delivery or suturing) and after the first time I made her ask if anything was different and the OB/GYN told us the suturing appeared to have been done wrong because there was an overhang and scar tissue. Second episiotomy with the second child, different doctor at a different hospital, everything was fine after the healing, so it seems like we just got shit luck with the first one

    • velma@sh.itjust.works
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      3 days ago

      Oftentimes doctors do it without a request from the husband at all. Misogyny is intertwined with healthcare.

      • Maeve@kbin.earth
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        3 days ago

        White men are often handed pain medicine prescription without asking. Women and people of color often can’t get it if they beg.

        • velma@sh.itjust.works
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          3 days ago

          Recently had my IUD replaced. The doctor looked me in the face and told me that they wouldn’t be offering pain relief. But I could take some ibuprofen before coming in.

          My father got a standing prescription for Vicodin just for some mild back pain.

          • ratofkryll@sh.itjust.works
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            2 days ago

            That was my experience, too. It was absolutely brutal. Luckily, I was able to have it removed when I was put under for my bisalp a few years later.

            On the other hand, I recently talked to a (male) gyno about my cycle being totally fucked up. One of the options for management was a Mirena IUD, and he told me that if I decide on that route, they’ll bring me into the OR and do it with proper pain management and sedation.

          • Maeve@kbin.earth
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            2 days ago

            That is infuriating, especially having heard tales of incorrect insertion and women suffering for weeks before the doctor decided something may be amiss and deciding to correct it.