Alt: bluesky screenshot. The text of the post reads: “Someone please pay me to cover nothing but rural festivals I’m having THE TIME OF MY LIFE at the Elkhorn Rib Festival”.

The post includes a photo of a woman with glasses wearing a pink t-shirt that says “Anal Bead Tug o’ War Champion”. She is standing outdoors under a canopy or tent, tilting her head back and drinking out of a large glass bottle of Evan Williams. In the background, other festival attendees and camping equipment are partially visible.

  • PhotonicEnglish
    131·
    3 days ago

    I have a different theory: look at her belly, it’s quite round for the rest of her body, which would an unusual fat distribution for a woman’s body. That and the bottle of bourbon makes me think she may have liver cirrhosis.

    Liver cirrhosis can cause massive amounts of ascites (fluid build up of up to several gallons in the abdomen), which could explain the belly / body discrepancy.

    Now, holding in a regular shit with gallon amounts of water pressure behind it would take some serious sphincter tonus at all times.

    So, tugging the beads vs. someone with an untrained sphincter should be a walk in the park for her.

    Thank you for listening to my TED talk.

    • Drekaridill@lemmy.wtfEnglish
      11·
      3 days ago

      Her belly is actually round because she swallowed a bowling ball and then she attaches the beads to the ball so she always wins the tug of war.