My wife and I have a baby and a toddler who take an absurd amount of energy every day, my wife and my family can’t stand each other, so I effectively don’t have an immediate family, but the catch is my wife is not a nice person.
So I’ve given up my family for a person who is rude, demanding, impatient, doesn’t show empathy, and is extremely controlling, but shows a nice face to everyone else.
The thought of divorce makes me sick to my stomach because of how difficult of a process it is, trying to explain all the changes to my toddler, how much harder solo parenting is, and being in a marriage and a home had a ton of financial and practical benefits, but I’m just so tired and lonely and sad.
I’m in therapy and we’re in couples therapy, but she started pulling away the first time the therapist challenged her so I don’t have any hope for genuine change.
It’s just a Groundhog day of exhaustion, loneliness, and misery, and the only person left in my life i could lean on is at the core of the problems. I’m not going to kill myself, but things are so dark right now.
My friend just went through this with a narcissistic partner. In his state, you have to be physically separated for a full year before you can get divorced so he got some extra time in the bargaining phase of grief - and yeah, what you’re describing sounds like grieving a relationship
The answer to your question is probably no, you can’t be happy enough.