I’ve noticed that I often struggle to express what I actually mean during discussions.
Sometimes my main point gets lost because I phrase it poorly, use a weak example, or realize later that I misunderstood what the other person was saying. I often leave conversations thinking, “That wasn’t what I was trying to say.” or “I am not being taken serious.”
For those of you who used to have this problem:
How did you get better at expressing your thoughts? Did you practice in a specific way? How do you make sure you’re responding to someone’s actual point instead of what you think they mean? Or is it really just keeping your mouth shut if you aren’t knowledgeable about something.
It has gotten to the point that I find myself just not wanting to jump into the discussion, because I feel like that it’s more about who is right , than understanding and being understood.
I’d love to hear any advice or habits that helped you become a clearer communicator. Book recommendations are also welcome.
Lemmy doens’t have Social Skills community(that i can find) or anything so sorry for posting this in AskLemmy.
Reflections so far:
Be curious. Socratic method; phrase your statements as questions. It helps soften your dialogue quite a bit and makes the conversation a quest for discovery.
Try to formulate things simple. The simpler u can explain something, the better u understand it and the less words to be confused about for both parties.
Rhetorical Triangle: Ethos, Pathos and Logos
Write more. It forces u to think critical about things. And gives u the opportunity to reflect on your own opinions.
Don’t take yourself, or other people too serious.
It’s similar in real life tbh, people are people and charged is charged. I’ve sort of given up on the idea of having a “good” discussion, and most of the research I’ve ever done into “proper arguments” essentially only makes it clear that nobody else tends to give a damn about it. Which means the knowledge only really serves to show you how all the discussions you do have… ain’t it. Whenever someone breaks a “rule” of debating, pointing it out will not actually help you.
Fair enough. The true skill is being able to laugh at yourself and not take things or other people too serious. The mind of an overthinker :p
I know it well 😅
Of course this isn’t to say it’s completely useless or anything. If nothing else, knowing about all the fallacies and different flavors of bullshit is helpful in other circumstances. But I stand by my jadedness otherwise
Cheers to that and my ignorance. May it become less, and better formulated in the future