Day 2403 of the Buddha’s enlightenment
Buddha: And what is it you need?
Young man: I want to be the best that ever was!
Buddha: And so do you not realize that it is your attachment to desire that causes you to suffer?
Young man: Yes, I know desire causes suffering.
Buddha: No, for one thousandth fucking time, that is not right! It is attachment to desire that manifests suffering. It is good to want to be good. It is bad to want to stand on others. And it is foolish to wish to be the best when you have trouble wiping your own butt!
Young man: I saw fire come out your butt!
Buddha: Yea, and in five hundred years, as I literally said, my dharma will come to a close as a new dharma will emerge as water becomes wine in this cosmic experiment, because if you didn’t catch it the first 2403 times I’ve said this, you are what you entangle yourself with, so if you entangle yourself with the divine, then you will be divine in the next lifetime of this biological incarnation, but if you choose to be a dog, then you will be more animalistic in your next life, and we live many lives each biological incarnation.
Young man: But what of “physics?”
Buddha: Somehow you’re reading these words without me speaking them. There is better pedagogy than you are aware. What I will call the Ālaya-vijñāna is preparing the seeds of your experience based on how you plant them. This creates the illusion you experience, and it is this existence-illusion complex that you get lost in and is the most effective means for a “God” to communicate with you. You lose yourself in the Garden for this is the most fertile ground for you to grow to the point of not needing any ground to exist.
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I was paid zero dollars to say this. That’s how selfless I am!