Most of my friends married and moved on, had kids, etc. Our lives are so dramatically different that even if I reach out and try to reconnect, I’m still “that weird guy from school”- I can tell immediately when I see them.
The other friends are deceased. Those were the friends I expected would outlive me. I’d hear from them every year or two when they came back to town. That hasn’t happened now for a few years, because they’re all gone. They were better looking and more social than I was and they’re no longer with us. Doesn’t inspire confidence.
Making new friends feels impossible without lying and bullshitting about who I really am. Each new person I start to befreind says something insane/far right and it’s instantly ruined.

Excluding family, nobody even remembered my birthday this year. No texts, no cards. If I weren’t useful at my job I would be completely invisible.

I force myself out of my comfort circle every weekend and go to the big city. All I wind up achieving is a few hundred less dollars in the bank, with a bit of heartburn and a hangover in the morning.

Is there something anyone can recommend? I don’t know if there’s anything else to try.