Yep, it’s the usual question
We’re very close, and we’re also getting to that age where everyone’s trying to settle in
I think she would be extremely sad if she stayed with me and if we didn’t have kids
But she also says that our relationship is the best she’s ever had and she only wants me
I hate work culture and I don’t want to work until I’m 80 because I have kids, it’s the biggest issue for me. I want to live as frugally as possible. In addition to that I have hobbies and I want my time spent on my hobbies and interests
I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting this, feel free to reply with anything relevant
I know it’s a cliche for relationship advice on the Internet to always be “break up”, but the kids question is one of the major sources of “irreconcilable differences” that people can have.
Decide what you want your life to be like, particularly about kids. Have a serious talk with her about what she wants hers to be like in that way.
If the answers don’t match then it’s pretty much going to fall apart sooner or later, and the two of you can decide when that will be.
My personal solution to the whole thing was to get snipped well before meeting my SO, which made it unambiguous from the start that she was ok with no additional kids.
Same. It made someone make a decision from the get-go. It doesn’t mean things like adoption or surrogate pregnancy won’t come up later, but being snipped and explaining why and then spending time together seems to make the answer obvious.
Also, depending upon culture, expect both of you to be pressured about children. None of my family know, but my mom gave up in my 40s. My wife is japanese and the pressure is higher, but she’s not the eldest daughter which seems to help.