Yep, it’s the usual question
We’re very close, and we’re also getting to that age where everyone’s trying to settle in
I think she would be extremely sad if she stayed with me and if we didn’t have kids
But she also says that our relationship is the best she’s ever had and she only wants me
I hate work culture and I don’t want to work until I’m 80 because I have kids, it’s the biggest issue for me. I want to live as frugally as possible. In addition to that I have hobbies and I want my time spent on my hobbies and interests
I don’t know what I’m looking for by posting this, feel free to reply with anything relevant
Man, i can’t deny that you have a valid point, but from a practical standpoint: does it matter, if it makes you happy?
I was never on the fence about wanting kids. I had a shitty childhood and my guiding purpose was always to rectify that by making sure my kids grew up with the support and resources they needed that I didn’t have. And I sacrificed a lot to make that happen - while all my friends were enjoying their 20s, I was grinding my career, hard, to make sure I could pull it off.
I wouldn’t go back and change a single thing. Yeah, the early years sucked. Yeah, it was a huge risk either way for my wife. Yeah, I could have traveled more or used all that money for stuff for ourselves. I think what I got instead was infinitely more valuable.
I’m sorry that we live in a bullshit world where financial constraints even make this a problem for people. Having kids should be a slam dunk easy decision if it weren’t for those implications, and modern medicine has drastically lowered infant and maternal mortality (not enough to trivialize it, but it’s not killing 30% of women like it used to).