I wont go too far into my story because it is too hard right now. But sadly and suddenly i am facing homelessness due to transphobic family members. I am currently safe staying at a hotel for the night, but i have no job so i cant afford too many hotel stays.
I have an appointment with my therapist later this morning and i am feeling ok, all things considered and i havnt thought at all about hurting myself (and that isnt something i have a history of). I am fortunately at a fairly stable point in my life and i believe i can make it through this. But i know i cant do it alone.
I am currently trying to reach out to friends for support and i have the phone number to a shelter line but i am scared of going to one. I am hopeful that i can find something temporary but i am trying to look at every option.
I am not asking for handouts or anything like that. I know there is a mutual aid com if it comes to needing assistance if all else fails.
What i am asking for is advice from anyone that has faced this situation. Just… anything. I dont even know what to ask. I feel so lost. At least i grabbed one of my sharks before the cops escorted me out. Which is good bc i am very sad girl right now. I think i will go cry. Thanks for listening
I’ve been homeless for 13 years, so I’ll give what advice I can –
First off, you will live through this.
I’ve had zero luck with shelters. They’re dangerous. Theft, drugs, disease and violence. Maybe the shelter near you is better, and I hope so, but if not you’ll need to have a backup plan.
Hotels will drain you dry. DO NOT spend your last dollar on one. In fact, leave now. You need your money for survival. A hotel will eat the dollars you need to survive.
Make sure you have one large duffel bag and a large backpack. You’ll need a 1-man tent and sleeping bag (thermal). Keep those and your clothes in the large duffel. Keep toiletries, paperwork (ie: birth certificate), laptop, phone, chargers, etc in the backpack. Get a $15 pocket stove from a Walmart, a $6 small pot, and a $10 can of fuel so you can cook. Get on food stamps and Medicaid ASAP. Do not wait on that. You’re homeless, you’ll get both, and you’ll need both. EBT is roughly $300 per month in food, and you can use it in all 50 states. Make a cardboard sign that says “HUNGRY” and keep it in your backpack. You’ll get food and cash. You just need to learn where to fly it.
Winter is coming, and if you’re in the DC area it’s not a good thing. Cold, wind and rain/snow are your enemies. And DC is not exactly “homeless friendly”. Winter is coming, you’ll want to relocate. Don’t get too caught up in the “red state vs. blue state” balogna. It’s more like “can I survive this place for X amount of time?”. I do Colorado for summer, and Houston for winter. For your situation, you’ll need to find LGBTQ-friendly cities. Texas may sound hick and redneck and all things conservative, but Austin is about as San Fransisco-y as it gets. Shop around, travel around. Chase the weather.
Places to avoid is basically any place that’s popular for homeless. Florida. Don’t go there (it sucks for homeless people because there’s just too many). Same with SoCal. Same with Frisco. Same with Salt Lake City (they’re actually in the process of warehousing homeless people against their will, stay the hell away from that!).
I’ve usually hichhiked between locations, but I’ve also done the whole panhandle --> short bus ride to nearby town/city --> panhandle for the next leg. It involves swallowing your pride a little, but it’s better than going hungry. And don’t be afraid to put down “NEED TENT” or “NEED BUS TICKET”. You’ll be amazed at the help you get.
Stay away from other homeless you see. Visible homeless are almost always guaranteed to be on drugs and willing to steal your stuff. Avoid them like the plague. After a while, you’ll learn which homeless people you can trust. And you won’t meet those people on street corners.
Avoid downtown areas. Safest places to camp are almost always on the outskirts of cities that still have public transit. Camp out of sight and out of mind. Tent goes up after dark, get some sleep, and take it down at sunrise. Eventually, you find a spot where you can leave your tent up for a while and actually find work. It doesn’t happen immediately but it does happen.
In all honesty, the entire Northeast and DC areas are the absolute worst places in the country to be homeless. If things don’t start working out, plan an escape to somewhere (literally anywhere) else. No matter where you go, libraries are your friend for charging electronics and using wifi. Showering can be difficult depending on the city. In Phoenix there’s municipal pools for just a few bucks that have showers. Houston’s parks all have showers for 75 cents. Florida has beachside showers, but a massive homeless population and an overburdened social services system.
That’s about all the help I can give right now. It’s completely doable, so keep your head up. Keep a very open mind to traveling, it’ll likely be your only way out. Feel free to ask if you have any questions, I’ve been doing this a while.
FYI – I’m still waiting on my disability case. But in the 13 years I’ve been homeless I’ve managed a 735 FICO score, 4 major credit cards, a ham radio license, and I do house-sitting. Still camp when I need to. It’s not as bad as it seems, and when I started I literally had nothing more than the pair of shorts I was wearing and a t-shirt. In December. I had been teaching English in Asia, lost my passport, and was repatriated. Started at zero. If this idiot can manage that, you’ll do far better. Good luck!
I have never yet been without stable housing and I’m only a tourist in this community from /all, but I wanted to come in to say this looks like extremely useful advice. Thank you for sharing it.