DISCLAIMER: I tried posting on Reddit and it got full of hate so I went here for more sensible people to look at it. I also want to add that contrary to what some people have said, I MYSELF am aroace. This is not me spreading hate against queer people…

I wanted to join a server I found which is supposedly a queer, safe-space server. However, when I verified, the person (or I guess people, since they seem to be a plural system, or someone with multiple identities) was very blunt or even rude at times. They got mad at me for not knowing specific mental health terminology, for not knowing that bipolar wasn’t a neurodevelopmental disability (context : they asked me what neurodevelopmental disorders I had and I said autism, ADHD and bipolar since I just thought it was a disorder one has that affects how they think or manage emotions/social stuff, which bipolar does for me.)

Later, the “conflict” started, making me want to leave the server before I was verified. They asked me if I knew how to turn off pings (or @ mentions) and told me being @ mentioned made them uncomfortable. I said “I do not, I’m new to Discord, can you show me?” However, what I didn’t know was that unlike most people, who would be okay with this pronoun, they expected me to say “you&”. Rather than be patient about it, they yelled at me in all caps to “correct myself NOW” as I was being “rude and deliberately triggering” for them. Despite feeling upset and correcting it to say “can you& show me?” they went on demanding that I give them special attention and respect and when I forgot that they didn’t want to be directly replied to, as I was used to that, despite the fact that I removed the message after realizing, they said again, I was being mean and trying to trigger them because I hated them. Then they said they didn’t wanna talk to me anymore because I was abusing them.

Because of this negative interaction and knowing this system would be a handful, I left the server instead of verifying.