Yes, I agree. Despite my statement sounding absolutist, I know they are out there. I suspect they are quite rare. I know I’ve never met one, based on experience. I’m sure some of the women I’ve met are those types but there’s no way for me to know without playing that game of Russian roulette.
Brother I think you might be overthinking it. When two people properly quick, money/income doesn’t matter as long as y’all are a proper fit and you’re able to make life work together happily.
Thats not a product of women collectively deciding to marry someone richer. That’s a product of the gender pay gap (not what most people think it is) and patriarchy (which hurts men too).
In places where women are not systemically dissuaded from high paying jobs, make as much as men do, have maternity and paternity leave, spousal incomes are about equal.
I disagree with that assertion, and I’ve seen this play out many times, with that nearly exact statement being the opening salvo. I will not engage and be drawn into a political debate that never ends well for anybody.
There is plenty of evidence concerning the difference between a blanket comparison of gross pay by gender vs pay comparisons in the same field of work - and I leave it to anybody who is curious to seek out that evidence on their own and draw their own conclusions.
Note my original question was not refuted, but justification was given.
Uhhh, I’m a Xennial and this hits hard. I am basically paying for her mortgage with the amount of money I have to give my ex every month. She has always had zero ambition, so I was always getting raises, and by the time we split, our finances were in two very different places, so the court said I have the luxury of paying her monthly just to be rid of her.
You got screwed then if you’re in the usa, spousal alimony is basically non-existent. Most states don’t have it anymore and those that do have it for about a year.
I’m well aware of how screwed I got… I’m hoping that in the next year or so I’ll be able to re-litigate with a different lawyer. I was so desperate to get out of that marriage, I took some bad advice.
My biggest problem is that my life hasn’t been the most stable since I left her. The sick amount of money I have to give her every month certainly hasn’t helped.
Lol, first of all, you are making quite a number of assumptions there.
Let’s turn that around, and see how it sounds…
“It certainly sounds like she’s bad. It’s her kid, why shouldn’t she be happy paying for his or her life?”
Here is a little factoid for you. When a woman commits purjury or contempt of court, it’s overlooked.
When custody is split 50/50, Child support payments are not adjusted to match that reality.
Men have no problem with paying to support their children. They have a problem with carrying 90% of the burden.
They have a problem being unable to save for retirement, a home, or their children’s education because huge sums of money is going to the ex, who somehow is able to buy a house, go through multiple new cars, and take overseas vacations - on (apparently) less income.
The courts seek to equalize incomes well after divorce. That means a woman with multiple masters degrees and certifications who mysteriously can’t make any money with that, gets her ex husband’s hard earned pay to compensate her for her failings.
Meanwhile, when men are unable to pay that money, they sometimes go to jail. Health insurance payouts are redirected, and paychecks are garnished.
Ironically, men just want a fair ruling and equality in the eyes of civil society, and when they vocalize that, they are demonized, shamed, called incels, etc…
Wow you’re bitter. I can see why a court wouldn’t appreciate your very biased, and sexist takes.
You do know women also get paid 2/3rds less on average for the same job?
That’s just a factoid for you.
Even if custody is shared 50/50, from what I’ve seen the vast majority of the thought load of filling in school forms, figuring out arrangements etc falls to women. 50/50 custody is not 50/50 responsibility.
Maybe you just haven’t been around long enough for shit to get real.
You’ve never seen a woman go after everything in court, have you? Never seen the lies or the frivolous motions, taking years to put to rest. You’ve not experienced or seen a man’s income transferred to the ex wife for decades after the divorce, or the ways she extracts more money out of her ex husband in those years.
You have not spent years in marriage, always sacrificing your own dreams because your spouse repeatedly drains the savings, crashes the cars, arranges expensive trips, all while never contributing a dime to the household.
Get married. Be sure you have a rock solid prenup validated by lawyers on both sides, pray you read your partner’s intentions and expectations well, and good luck.
No, I haven’t experienced any of those things. I don’t know why anyone would be in a relationship like that. Sounds like you probably shouldn’t of got married.
Obviously I should not have married. Do you think I expected that treatment? That is my whole point. You’re playing Russian roulette.
Women are capable of deceit - hard to believe, I know. Really, they are! Many men have experiences far worse than mine. Some are murdered, many are left with criminal records for things they didn’t do. Others find out years into marriage they aren’t the father of the children
They are raising.
I don’t mean to be a downer, but this is a Boomer meme.
Wife bad
ExWife.
Also alimony can be given to the man as well if he decided to be the homemaker or stay at home parent.
Whoever gets paid more is the one who ends up owing down, doesn’t matter if you have a dick or wind chimes down there.
How many women do you know who marry men who make less than they?
I know a small handful, they do exist
Yes, I agree. Despite my statement sounding absolutist, I know they are out there. I suspect they are quite rare. I know I’ve never met one, based on experience. I’m sure some of the women I’ve met are those types but there’s no way for me to know without playing that game of Russian roulette.
Brother I think you might be overthinking it. When two people properly quick, money/income doesn’t matter as long as y’all are a proper fit and you’re able to make life work together happily.
I’m not an idiot. That was my belief for a long time. Experience showed me that doe not “just happen”.
Thats not a product of women collectively deciding to marry someone richer. That’s a product of the gender pay gap (not what most people think it is) and patriarchy (which hurts men too).
In places where women are not systemically dissuaded from high paying jobs, make as much as men do, have maternity and paternity leave, spousal incomes are about equal.
I disagree with that assertion, and I’ve seen this play out many times, with that nearly exact statement being the opening salvo. I will not engage and be drawn into a political debate that never ends well for anybody.
There is plenty of evidence concerning the difference between a blanket comparison of gross pay by gender vs pay comparisons in the same field of work - and I leave it to anybody who is curious to seek out that evidence on their own and draw their own conclusions.
Note my original question was not refuted, but justification was given.
Yeah but it’s actually relatable. I wasn’t even married and I went through something like this
Should it matter?
Uhhh, I’m a Xennial and this hits hard. I am basically paying for her mortgage with the amount of money I have to give my ex every month. She has always had zero ambition, so I was always getting raises, and by the time we split, our finances were in two very different places, so the court said I have the luxury of paying her monthly just to be rid of her.
You got screwed then if you’re in the usa, spousal alimony is basically non-existent. Most states don’t have it anymore and those that do have it for about a year.
I’m well aware of how screwed I got… I’m hoping that in the next year or so I’ll be able to re-litigate with a different lawyer. I was so desperate to get out of that marriage, I took some bad advice.
My biggest problem is that my life hasn’t been the most stable since I left her. The sick amount of money I have to give her every month certainly hasn’t helped.
Does she work? What state are you in? You shouldn’t be paying her at all really. Alimony has really lost its teeth in the last 10 years.
I got screwed too, because we have a child. If he has one, he is screwed until the kid finishes college or is 25 yo.
He also pays in full even if he has 50% custody. Here in america, woman good man bad.
Certainly it sounds like you’re bad.
It’s your kid, why shouldn’t you be happily paying for his or her life?
Lol, first of all, you are making quite a number of assumptions there.
Let’s turn that around, and see how it sounds…
“It certainly sounds like she’s bad. It’s her kid, why shouldn’t she be happy paying for his or her life?”
Here is a little factoid for you. When a woman commits purjury or contempt of court, it’s overlooked.
When custody is split 50/50, Child support payments are not adjusted to match that reality.
Men have no problem with paying to support their children. They have a problem with carrying 90% of the burden.
They have a problem being unable to save for retirement, a home, or their children’s education because huge sums of money is going to the ex, who somehow is able to buy a house, go through multiple new cars, and take overseas vacations - on (apparently) less income.
The courts seek to equalize incomes well after divorce. That means a woman with multiple masters degrees and certifications who mysteriously can’t make any money with that, gets her ex husband’s hard earned pay to compensate her for her failings.
Meanwhile, when men are unable to pay that money, they sometimes go to jail. Health insurance payouts are redirected, and paychecks are garnished.
Ironically, men just want a fair ruling and equality in the eyes of civil society, and when they vocalize that, they are demonized, shamed, called incels, etc…
Wow you’re bitter. I can see why a court wouldn’t appreciate your very biased, and sexist takes.
You do know women also get paid 2/3rds less on average for the same job?
That’s just a factoid for you.
Even if custody is shared 50/50, from what I’ve seen the vast majority of the thought load of filling in school forms, figuring out arrangements etc falls to women. 50/50 custody is not 50/50 responsibility.
Not taking the bait, sorry. Have a nice day!
Only boomers have bad marriages? Or is it because someone who was famous before you were born should never be shown in a meme?
Or is it boomer because you don’t get it?
Thinking all the shit is his instead of martial assets to be equally split. Is some wife bad boomer humor is I believe the point.
Maybe you just haven’t been around long enough for shit to get real.
You’ve never seen a woman go after everything in court, have you? Never seen the lies or the frivolous motions, taking years to put to rest. You’ve not experienced or seen a man’s income transferred to the ex wife for decades after the divorce, or the ways she extracts more money out of her ex husband in those years.
You have not spent years in marriage, always sacrificing your own dreams because your spouse repeatedly drains the savings, crashes the cars, arranges expensive trips, all while never contributing a dime to the household.
Get married. Be sure you have a rock solid prenup validated by lawyers on both sides, pray you read your partner’s intentions and expectations well, and good luck.
No, I haven’t experienced any of those things. I don’t know why anyone would be in a relationship like that. Sounds like you probably shouldn’t of got married.
Obviously I should not have married. Do you think I expected that treatment? That is my whole point. You’re playing Russian roulette.
Women are capable of deceit - hard to believe, I know. Really, they are! Many men have experiences far worse than mine. Some are murdered, many are left with criminal records for things they didn’t do. Others find out years into marriage they aren’t the father of the children They are raising.