Our story begins with our hero, Bob

He thought he’d seen a shooting star from the backseat of his car
As some heifer bobbed her face all on his Twinkie
But that shit was fuckin’ close, what the fuck, could’ve been toast
Now beyond the trees is flickering and blinking
He told her hurry, girl, come on, pop that cork and then be gone
Next thing he knew, he had his leg up as his dick sneezed
She made his goober disappear like gulp “My Uber’s here”
Then he ran to see what landed past some thick trees
There in the dark of the night, was this hole glowin’ bright
He looked in and seen what might be a crashed meteorite
He was cautious, full of fright, it could be contaminated, right?
Just then a shell cracked light, what an incredible sight
Some liquified shit glowed, it was oozin’ out slow
With a big [night?] blue glow, scary but beautiful
He found a stick near the road, and he stuck it in slow
He looked at it up close, and it appeared to grow
He went to fling it right quick, but the shit was too thick
Wiped it around on the ground, it just devoured the stick
Swallowed it bit by bit, it tripled in size quick
Curiosity’s legit, that’s how the best of ‘em slip
He couldn’t wait to feel, evaluate the deal
Glowin’ with great appeal, why hesitate? He kneel
Looked like a ocean kill, a jelly fish or eel
And then he dabbed it with his finger, and his fate was sealed
Beware! It’s the killer thrillin’
From another galaxy, everybody killin’
Blob! Blob!
Beware! It’s the killer thrillin’
From another galaxy, everybody killin’
Blob! Blob!

He felt his fingertip was burnin’, and before long he was learnin’
Once it begins to feed, indeed, it will spread
Slowly devoured up his hand, he scrubbed and showered, understand
He tried to burn it, freeze it, Jesus, make it cease, he begged
He knows just what needs to be done, fuckin’ ay this won’t be fun
But to save his life it’s best he just do it quick
Plus he gots no where else to turn, ‘cause true loyalty is earned
And to be honest, Bob was pretty much a fuckin’ dick
He called that hooker from before, her Uber pulled up for more
She heard him screamin’ from inside as she knocked on the door
She brought the axe and a sword and wondered what was in store
Bob was elbow deep in blob as her jaw his the floor
Told her cut off his arm quick, “What the fuck is that shit?”
He screamed “Do it now, bitch!” she’s like, I’m gonna be sick
He said be steady, don’t trip, she begged, but what if I slip
Just then she swung as he was talkin’, that bitch cut off his lip
His arm remained in tact, but you could hear the bones crack
The blob continues to attack, chewin’ on Bob like a snack
And now it’s spreadin’ in fact onto his chest and back
The situation that he’s facin’ at best is wack
Bigger gets and as it saved the best for last
But Bob’s face it passed because it tastes like ass
Any last words before you’re fertilized to grass?
The blob was just too fast
Beware! It’s the killer thrillin’
From another galaxy, everybody killin’
Blob! Blob!
Beware! It’s the killer thrillin’
From another galaxy, everybody killin’
Blob! Blob! Blob! Blob! Blob! Blob!