Speaking from the guy perspective (and not at all to minimize your pain) sometimes pulling away is necessary for managing feelings of rejection and longing; better to pull away than to have a crash out in a year about how her boyfriend isn’t you but also still bad. It just sucks all around.
I pull away because i don’t want to deal with other people’s endlessly negative expectations of the world and of me/themselves.
it’s exhausting and miserable, and I would rather be alone and happy than socially involved and miserable.
It’s not dating either, it’s just socializing in general. It sucks to try and meet up with old friends or make new ones, and all they want to do is complain about how awful the world is and how unfair their lives are, and if you don’t agree… they think you are a terrible person.
I miss the days when you could meet people and the topics were not an endless self-pity party. I can’t remember the last time I met a stranger and they didn’t immediately launch into a ‘woe is me’ conversation. The last time I met a person who wasn’t like that was 3-4 years ago. and 8 years ago… I would actually meet a lot of folks who weren’t like that.
My other thing that drives me away from socialization… people don’t ask me questions or talk to more anymore. They just… lecture me about myself and make really arrogant and stupid assumptions about me. And if I correct them about their wrong assumptions, they get angry and tell me that I am wrong. Another social change I just can’t understand, and I notice when I ask people questions they get offended by it like it’s rude to ask them basic facts about themselves… and that’s how I enjoy interacting with people… so yeah what is the point?
Speaking from the guy perspective (and not at all to minimize your pain) sometimes pulling away is necessary for managing feelings of rejection and longing; better to pull away than to have a crash out in a year about how her boyfriend isn’t you but also still bad. It just sucks all around.
I pull away because i don’t want to deal with other people’s endlessly negative expectations of the world and of me/themselves.
it’s exhausting and miserable, and I would rather be alone and happy than socially involved and miserable.
It’s not dating either, it’s just socializing in general. It sucks to try and meet up with old friends or make new ones, and all they want to do is complain about how awful the world is and how unfair their lives are, and if you don’t agree… they think you are a terrible person.
I miss the days when you could meet people and the topics were not an endless self-pity party. I can’t remember the last time I met a stranger and they didn’t immediately launch into a ‘woe is me’ conversation. The last time I met a person who wasn’t like that was 3-4 years ago. and 8 years ago… I would actually meet a lot of folks who weren’t like that.
My other thing that drives me away from socialization… people don’t ask me questions or talk to more anymore. They just… lecture me about myself and make really arrogant and stupid assumptions about me. And if I correct them about their wrong assumptions, they get angry and tell me that I am wrong. Another social change I just can’t understand, and I notice when I ask people questions they get offended by it like it’s rude to ask them basic facts about themselves… and that’s how I enjoy interacting with people… so yeah what is the point?
I’m glad you compulsively responded to every positive comment to tell them how wrong they are and how bad volunteering is.