I should start with the fact that I’m a man, and my friend is a woman. I really care a lot about my friend, and she has been going through some hard times… but we all do, and I started to notice something lately.

I know she’s been going through some stuff, so I always ask how she’s doing, how she feels, how her week/day was, and I follow up on things she tells me. But I never get the same treatment back. 90% of the questions she asks me are about things I know, but not about me. If she even asks any questions.

For example, I recently I hurt myself, and I told her about it, but she never followed up to ask how I was doing. I also had kind of a big event happening recently and she knew about it but didn’t ask anything about how it went. So brought it up, but she wasn’t really asking questions or reacting so I cut it short because I was worried I was boring/bothering her. I also subtly mentioned how I’ve been feeling some burn out from social activities and big social groups, but she didn’t say anything so I didn’t go much into it. And at least according to a talk we had yesterday she has been feeling better, but still acts the same way. Actually yesterday felt even worse than usual on my end.

Part of me wonders if I should say this to her, but then I remember how much she is going through and feel bad about putting more stuff on her. But has a result I’m event more stressed and with more weight on my shoulders.

And the way this all relates to the title, is because of course every once in a while I have to listen to her talk about how men take so much longer to mature than women (we are the same age btw), how men have really low emotional intelligence and empathy compared to women, and how she would actually make an amazing boyfriend… meanwhile I feel she can’t even be a good friend. And of course it’s especially stinging when I am a man, and don’t seem to act as described, but have to listen to this when she acts like she does. When I met her I though she was a really kind person; now I’m starting to think she’s nice and sweet, but perhaps not really that kind… and I feel kinda like an ass saying that.

Overall, it’s (parts of what) got me feeling like I’m the verge of breaking down and just disappearing from everyone’s life for a couple of weeks or more.

Edit: Edited the title to be less generalizing and sensationalized