I got me a free coffee from Starbucks and some free breakfast from Waffle House so I got that goin’ for me.

But with all the “THANKS YOU FOR YOUR SERVICE” and all the “YOU’RE A CHILD KILLING WAR CRIMINAL WHO FOUGHT FOR OIL COMPANIES” it just is a weird fucking thing.

As most of you might be guessing, I got lied to be a recruiter when I was 17. I was graduating high school, about to turn 18, and had 0 idea what to do. My parents weren’t poor, but college without debt was absolutely out of the question for me.

The recruiter sold me on the idea of free college, an easy ass IT job, “Hey kid, most jobs in the military aren’t combat! And plus, you can go on missions which are like paid vacations!”

All that jazz, so I signed up with parental approval and by 18, I was off to basic which I cried myself to sleep every night in lol. AIT was chill tho and I got a CCNA and Sec+ cert which I 100% cheated my way through. If you ain’t cheatin’ you ain’t tryin’.

But even before combat, the work was hardly ever a ‘chill IT job’. I often was in the motorpool working on cars, taking DAYS to dispatch a fucking truck, getting snark from the mechanics, and staying way passed 1700. It was a good day and early out if you got out at 1700.

Missions were often worse. If you’re IT in the Army? You are first in, last out. If you go on a mission, it is fucking over a month as you gotta set up all the IT shit for the combat boys, ensure it works, and then tear down after they left. So while the infantry guys were on training mission for 2 weeks? I was usually there for 45 days and working daily 12 hour shifts.

I think my favorite story to tell people is this one time we got a new piece of IT equipment to field and test out. We could not get any of these shits working. I soon called up the hub and asked what the fuck and they notified us that they weren’t set up to have their satellites communicating with these things. It was an issue on THEIR end.

But our Company First Sergeant, who was a fat as fuck former infantry guy, told us “IN OUR TIME, WE TROUBLESHOT THINGS! KEEP FUCKING TRYING AND STOP WITH YOUR SORRY ASS EXCUSES!” This was a like month and a half time in my life where we would show up to work at 0600 and leave usually around 2100 or 2200. 1SG later came out to let us know it was an issue with the hub and not on us. Thank you first sergeant, very cool.

But then what of combat? I was in Iraq in 2019 around the time COVID was hittin’. We weren’t allowed to leave post and working daily 12 hour shifts except for Sunday where you’d get a half day if you were either religious or lucky. We slept in shipping containers with constant AC going because the government, and I think it was the Iraq government and not the US, said it was cheaper.

My job was literally just going into a closet for 12 hours a day and using a shitty ass laptop to oversee the network and make sure things were good so some general could check their email or something. I don’t know, I just did as I was told. Sometimes we’d get calls from people about their account or printers or shit.

We were only in Iraq because the locals got really fucking pissed at us and we were worried they’d run us out and take over, so we moved over to Kuwait which was fine. Same shit, mostly but I was moved over to an office instead of a closet but my job was about the same. We weren’t shelled that often and it was usually the Embassy that ISIS would attack, but when the holidays rolled around it was every fucking day. I worked night shift, so I’d be asleep during the day and hearing all of it. Earplugs never worked.

I remember coming back and we were told no celebration would be had due to COVID, so we all just got in our cars and drove off. Work was more of the same, but working 12 hours a day, daily for 6 months, evacuating, and then doing it again for another like 3 months? I was worn out.

I was a big fan of Alpharad back in the day, and I heard his song Silver Lining by his band Ace of Hearts and cried. The song is about an abusive relationship and I realized I am in one with the Army.

They ask everything of you, to be better than your absolute best, and if you get hurt or fall apart, you get mocked for it. Asked why YOU let it happen when they grind you into the dust.

And then coming out of it all, again you either get “THANKS FOR YOUR SERVICE” or “YOU WAR CRIMINAL” as if all I am is who I was. A desperate 17/18 year old who wanted to afford college.

And yet, I can’t really vent. Weirdly, as abusive as the Army is it will give you everything you want. I got IT certs for free, I got a degree for free, I always had a place to sleep, I always had food, I always had a paycheck, and I always had work to do. I made some amazing friends in the Army, one of whom nabbed me a pretty good contractor job.

I still play games with some of my friends I made in the Army, and yet I carry a certain weight with me. I want people to just see me, but “SOLDIER FOR LIFE” and it fucking sucks. I’m not very hooah. I’m progressive and I have a transgender girlfriend. And yet even with that, I think of Barry Winchell. A fellow US Army soldier who in 1999 was murdered because he had a transgender girlfriend too.

And then trying to get a new job, every company says they support their veterans, but I have heard, 3 times now, my IT experience in the Army isn’t applicable to what they are looking for. I am far from the only one hearing this. My friend who worked Supply got told by a warehouse his Army experience working in a warehouse didn’t translate. Turns out this happens a lot. They say they support you and stab you in the fucking back.

I dunno, man. It is just weird being a veteran. I am happy for as much I feel guilty for. I hate the virtue signaling praise but hate the scorn more of people calling me a war criminal. I am so grateful for the friends I made while in and detest how people who didn’t serve can’t seem to get it.

I dunno, just talking generally. Anyone else here someone who served? The free waffles and coffee were nice.