tweet by kat @graphickat:
When people say “they never use disability as an excuse” it makes me furious.
Stating my reality is not an excuse. My body has physical limitations that aren’t negotiable.
When I tell you I can’t do something, it’s not an excuse. It’s not a matter of positivity. It’s truth.
While not very eloquently stated, his underlying meaning has a point that’s important for more than just this discussion of disabilities.
Someone else being able to overcome an obstacle doesn’t mean everyone can. There’s always examples of some people overcoming poverty, racism, sexism, disability, etc and that doesn’t invalidate the struggle the same condition might cause someone else. That person just might have had advantages in terms of wealth, family, access, that the majority of people don’t. Or honestly, yes, they also just might be more lucky or have more ‘grit’ than most people.
But again, those things are not the norm. You cannot judge a limitation by the people who overcome it.
Their point was to try and invaludate OP.
Your optimistic interpretation of it, apart from the “grit” part, because that’s a judgment you can’t possibly make, is the right way to look at it, which if that person did, they wouldn’t have made the comment they did.
No that wasn’t my point. My point is that is the type of thing that some people who disagree might say. Such as spencer West, who I believe is the guy who I saw speak at a conference. But there are too many in google results to be sure which one it was. And it might have been kilamanjaro! Not everest. I saw him speak almost 20 years ago so the name and details grow fuzzy.
The point is, for someone with a disadvantage, giving up is not the best medicine.
What you see as “giving up” might be someone who has tried a million times only to realize they aren’t capable of doing something. So instead of constantly hurting yourself and getting discouraged from not being able to do the task, you realize that is a boundary and something you just can’t do.
So when someone comes around, sees you “giving up” on something and telling you the disabled man climbing Everest story, all that does is bring all those horrible feelings back up but now with judgement from someone else.