I find it so hard to find anyone compatible. I’m basically slowing down my dating efforts because it just makes me miserable. Are there any success stories out there? Common personality types that pair surprisingly well? Anything?
I find it so hard to find anyone compatible. I’m basically slowing down my dating efforts because it just makes me miserable. Are there any success stories out there? Common personality types that pair surprisingly well? Anything?
I tried briefly when I was younger. Never went well. Then I randomly met someone online and we had a long-distance toxic relationship on and off for about five years. I’ve been single now for about four years and am as lonely as I am terrified of trying to date again.
Honestly, I’m not even sure I should ever bother dating again. Going through therapy now, and I almost feel like my pursuit of a partner has been more like a search for a caretaker. Who would want to be in a relationship with someone like me? I forget basic things constantly, I’m broke and can barely work, I’m prone to extreme depressive episodes, my anxieties regularly control me, I have difficulty trusting people outside of my immediate family, and I’m not even physically attractive.
I’m “working on myself” through therapy and all that, but I doubt I’ll ever be in a position where I am worthy of love. It’s even less likely I’ll get to a position where I can convince someone else that I’m worth loving.
The way someone explained this to me was: you probably wouldn’t judge someone else the way you do yourself - certainly not if you knew the context and what they’re dealing with.
Personally speaking, I feel like I don’t judge someone else the way I judge myself because I don’t know the full extent of what they are going through but I have access to all of my thoughts, memories, and every action I did or didn’t take. This lowers the possibility of there being a hidden, valid reason for actions or thoughts that I judge myself for compared to others.
This isn’t meant to say that MisterMcBolt is right about their self-judgement. Just wanted to point out another possible reason for judging others differently from yourself.
Why hello me.
Sounds really rough. I know you didn’t ask for advice, but I really wish I started on meds earlier. Sertraline and methylphenidate worked really well for me. Therapy alone just didn’t cut it.