I have been recently diagnosed as autistic, and now I seem to see autism everywhere in my social circle. My brother, a daughter, at least two friends. . . Either there are a lot of undiagnosed autistic people out there OR I tend to become friends (more comfortable) with fellow autists, OR I am just being silly and am attributing autism to NT people with strong interests. Fellow neurodivergent folks of all types, what is your experience? (Edit: changed ND to NT. oops!)

  • BOMBSM
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    1 year ago

    From my experience, if I think you’re smart or cool, you’re probably autistic. I really like autistic people in general, while allistic people are hit or miss for me. Even the ones that I do like I can only be around them for short periods of time. To be clear, I’m not placing responsibility on allistic people. It’s just that it takes a lot of cognitive effort on my part to consider every possible way something could be misinterpreted before I say/do something, then get frustrated when I missed something and unavoidably upset someone. We have different cultures. However, some allistic people are quite annoying with their social games, manipulation, taking offense out of seemingly nowhere, and the need to look down on me.

    For example, I was at the hospital visiting a friend. She had a friend of hers there too. I have known her friend for years now, but I don’t enjoy their company. Anyway, I made a minor mistake with a request my friend made regarding her dinner because of a miscommunication, so I jokingly said, “Sorry, I’m autistic.” Somehow, this offended her allistic friend enough that she had to butt into the conversation and say, “So that’s your excuse for everything now? That you’re autistic?” I just ignored her comment, but it was still mentally exhausting to be around. For the future, I’m prepared to confront her the next time she pulls out one of her antagonizing remarks because she thinks she’s superior and can get away with it. Just because I stay quiet doesn’t mean she “got me”. It means I didn’t find it worthwhile to defend myself and create a nastier environment while my friend was in the hospital.

    I can find some autistic people annoying, too, but I find that I can address that with them much easier than I could with allistic people who will more likely unnecessarily jump to incorrect conclusions.