I’m getting tired of being the household beast of burden. Last night I decided to try and make just ONE damned chore in the house equitable. I assigned one kid to empty the dishwasher, the other to fill it, and my husband to wash whatever large items wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher. We discussed it. He agreed it was fair. I HATE a dirty kitchen and can’t cook when it’s filthy and I’m tired of doing all the cleanup before slaving away at the stove and then repeating.

Spoiler: he did not wash the dishes. He played video games and then went to bed. I washed them this morning.

I was mildly annoyed (read this happens constantly so I’m used to it) and told him just now that since I washed those dishes, could he please put them away. He’s doing that now, but his response has me fucking fuming.

“Why wouldn’t you just wait until I washed them? Why did you HAVE to do the dishes just to make me feel bad about it?”

I was mildly annoyed before and now I’m just fucking furious. He has no idea why I would even consider that manipulative. I’m so mad right now I can’t even find the words to productively explain to him why that statement was so offside.

Help me, sisters. I can’t even find the words.

  • @SaraphimOP
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    2410 months ago

    I have tried this. Unfortunately when you run a house, things need doing, whether you want to do them or not. So although in principal this makes sense, in the end it just makes more work for the person who is running the house. I have two kids that need to eat. Hell, I want to bloody well eat. Why should we all live in filth so that his ego isn’t bruised when I point out he didn’t do his very minuscule bit ?

    This would work with roommates though.

      • @SaraphimOP
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        710 months ago

        Sometimes I wish I could. Last week I told him I love him but I hate being married to him. He sulked for a day and got over it. I’m not over it.